Click to navigate. :)

thanks for the wishes..

i might not thank you in person but thank you alot.
mummy
daddy
syasya
ash
mua ali
zee
zyra
dan
syazwan
sara
nad
ariff
luqman
rj
iffa
malvin
zin
lala
alan
ross
theresa
apple
saffwan
dian
haqim
yue ting
umar
cherry
saratini
annann
daobin
carin
hafi
skrip i'fyate
dil
bombom
helmi
pradeep
fizah
yvonne
shi pei
ivan
syakir
ryan
rena
winston
feekee d
ozalis omar
lee hao
khairul amir
dee
noch
hazim
haresh son of jayasegaran!
melissa
mont


nms are not in the order. just appreciating you people who have changed my lfe and i know. love lots!!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA! WOOHOOOO!

NOTHING NEW WHEN IT COMES TO BEING 18 JUST NICE FORTHE LEGAL AGE BUT, 4 WHT..
Damn happy as the clock strikes 12 midnight. woot:P my birthday.
and was not expecting anything much. I slept till 4 pm as i was damn tired and sleeppppppyy from the hang over of muscle aches from DRAGON BOAT. ella wht. haha..
en at night went to simpang bedok and ate dinner. funfun! and then, at night at around 11 or so, my younger sister came home from malaysia. woooohooo! i miss her alot like fish cannot die.. haha:P en she bought for us gifts. i got a floral dress, and a shiny shimmery glitter. okey, she wants me to go cub. haha. no way eh..
en, we slept and wake up next morning that is monday, had to go dragon boat training. yeshh.. could continue rock climbing as my mm do not allow me to go. she say your a girl sp pls do take care of yourself. haiyoo.. im a half men remember? :p
Yea, so, afetr dragon boating, went to meet rj at khatib and thx eh fr making me wait like for n hr like tt.. blopblopblop:P
En, we mae our way to east coast and honestly, rj wanted to surprise me that iffa,mal,zin,ash,fai,alan n gf was all there. but cannot. lol..loser. haah:P but thx alot rj for the planning. love you deep deep very strong.

so, i saw them sitting and chilling under the tree. haha. but was damn fun. and i was thrown into the sea. wahlao.. just changed into my dry wear afer dragon boat and now am wet. but fun uh.. thx eh.. en, eat and eat and eat. so shiokkk :D

Next day arrives and me and rj went out to have dinner at nydc. Not halal. i dun wna eat there again. hha.. so much pork lor. and eewwww.. i dont ea pork. hah!!
so, i had red hot chlli pepper penne pasta and rj gt rib eye steak. damn nice. i nat go simpang bedok and eat again..(random). En i got lemon sorbet and he got something somethin irish whipped cream.. tats for drinks. love muchmuch.

en, we wen home at abt ren plus and i eched home at abt 11++ so yeah..
now, im sitting in te library waiting for rj to meet hm p and have durian at the library. woot! my 3rd fav fruit.

sayora!!

now what?

you piss at me for what freaking reason?
i did not know this until two weeks ago.
i did not know nad's gna tell you dat day.
i did nt do anything wrong for sure that is what i know.
i did not even plan any fucking thing with dian or whosoever.
i did not even know that is happening, what plans they make.
i did not know alot of things.
and for what i have last recalled,i did not do anythign bad or freakingly wrong to you!

what? u expect me to tel you that, that motherfucker played you?
fuck ! i just knew it and yes you think that i was also the master mind.
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH EH.

nothing else to say uh... suit yourself uh.

Things didnt work out that well leaving me, sara and nad shed tears yesterday.
Each of us has our own dissapointment and sadness.
But things got even worse soon..

Cognitive for me was a mess. I tried my very best to understand but i just cant absorb. I knowthe definitions but i just do not know why i cant get itin my head. Flt like crying but i hold on because, the presentation gotta go first. This was one of the toughest problem for cognitive. But whatsoever, the presentation ended with cross! solution were wrong, examples explained differently.etc.. I could not talk more after i presented as i was not already in the mood.

Then comes to RJ. I know i hurt him directly but i didnt know till we talked last night which lasted for 1 hour and 59 mins. Whoa!! BUt problem resolved :) What happened was he did not like the way i am when i was talking to him and how i reacted. I know i suck during that time. I know that when i am angry,or pissed at something, i just do not give a crap bout other stuffs because i am already not in the mood. So, i cried. Could'nt help it. It did not wna tell sara and nad because i can manage it. I do not want to over burden them because they too have their problems yesterday. BUt now, everything is fine.

Next comes the MacDonald part. I was not ready for what is going to happen next. Because i thought everything was going to settle down. Hell NO! Nad told Sara about the hakim thingy. And yeah, it hurts me too and i forgot about it because Nad and therest of the clan had that in control. BUt whatsoever happened, now is not resolved yet. And me not having twitter is eft behind. Because i am unable to check each individual's status on how they felt. Haiis... But i thin let sara mull over her thoughts uh. She didnt reply my tex today also. So i didnt mind. But i wna let you know that me and Nad are utterly sorry. Like as you said, telling you earlier is better, we did now. hehe.. not as earlier as you thought. SORRY :p But take your time to think and chill down. So that you wont be that angry with us.

Now need to concentrate on maths. Hope today wont be such a bad day..











Omg!! standard chartered marathon was such a frenzy!!
goodness gracious me!
didnt sleep at all.. so tired!!

what happened:

-Saturday, went out of house at 12.+
-meet sara and nad for swimming.
-swam till 3pm
-i go homechange and meet sara at her house.
-chill awile with sara at her house en we go out after maghrib(at abt 8 pm).
-went to MARVELLOUC CREAM!! damn nice:) and had lotsa fun with her .
-bought sushi
-go to sometset uniqlo and walkwalk ard.
-meet rj and friends and took pics..
-eat pastamania and meet rahmat n nad there.
-coincidentally come across my past ex- achit
-eat till 11.30pm and left to ct hall(the padang)
-walk and have alot of fun from sometset to ct hall. haha!!

-Sun 2 am meet the green baggge crew members.
-and set to work at the padang(standard chartered marathon)
-damn tired, but friends make me feel energised.
-worked/help out till 2 or so en go home
-bathe and change and en go out.
-go to bukit batok for the wedding thingy.
-eat and RJ was there!

hehe:) these are what happened and nw im so damn tired.. never sleep for one night. n ella cannot do that.
now eyebag like last warning!!!

Salim bade on 5th december! happy bdae salim!! mamanceh eh.. haha:)
but you never reply my tex message wen i texted you. apedahh...

k fuck! i feel like drinking. bt scared. im good girl.
i want more pictures!!







Apart from the beautiful gloring full moon yesterday, i had to plan for what is going to happen today.
Because, i am having this standard chartered marathon on sun at 3 am as a volunteer.
So, alot of plans today lah -thats th bottomline
So, now im going swimming with my girls as usual, go sara's house eat lunch!
and then go home meet my kakak and get ready to go out to meet my long lost friend along with my attire for the sun marathon.
en meet sara nad and chill till 2 am.
hmm... means i cant sleep. but i wna sleep.

well, see how the day goes uh.

Besides that, on sun, got the wedding thingy, so aft the marathon, must come there.
Like WAHLAO!! so the mafan liao..








sucks..



I thank god for giving me such understand friends

NAD and SARA!

i love them. alot..
i dont know why im being so random, but i visited nad's blog just nw, and read all her posts back again. to know how stoopid am i to do such a thing to them. And two private posts, wanted to ask and for the password, but i think, nevermind, its done. we are ok alrd. let her say and feel how she wants to. i dont wnat to interefere coz i know i make a mistake and i am at guilt.

But now, i know that they are here, i cant wait to meet em.
how about a game or two at the pool again?
hehe:P




mummy and daddy please.. make up your mind.








ate freaking yong tau fu and yellow mee for the first break.
ate freaking 11 scallops during class and second break.
ate freaking 3 chicken drumlets second break.
drink lots of mineral water.

























good enuf?
















cognitive is eating my ass off thinking bout this problem. wahlao..

2 words: fuck lah..\






-.-



Had to attend their camp as an instructor!
Had tonnes of fun.
Played alot of games and 1 istructor to 18 to 20 students.

First day:
morning was quite dull and quiet but towards the afternoon everybody was great and hyped up. went to sentosa with the students, visit underwater world, dolphin lagoon, played amazing race there and at night we had the dragon trail nigth walk at imbiah.. As there is only about 6 instructors, we had to split up and station at different points individually. And it is ai night smre!! dmn dark and very creepy and silent. wahlao.. but it was fine..

Second day:
morning breakfast and then playd station games like monster inc. , entangle yourslef, lost sheprd...and many more. damn great and fun. after that students gather and was debriefed on muli captain ball game with different balls(sizes and shapes) being thrown in at different time intervals with different points to different balls. It was damn excitinly fun!! and the ultimateball was a WHOLE RAW CHICKEN! wf!! haha..damn disgusting and fun. the chicken like flying siow when being thrown here and there. And the points fr the chicken wax 300 points. Fun liao!! And then after that, ate lunch which wa chicken rice(no appetite siow) and played free and easy water bomb game at the field! the students and other instructors cannot see me dry. must mae me wet. so, throughoout the day till the end of the camp which is at 3.30pm, i was wet and cold. hah!! but had a freaking great time lor.

The insights of the camp:
some things was not planned out well and there are cock ups but everything was great at the end of the camp/when the camp ends. DSlept for like abt 3 1/2 hrs or less. tired and sleepy but this dd not keepme away from being enthusiatic just for the students!! and im happy that the students love me. coz they said they love me during lunch.hah!! and i think i did a really great job even though it was my first experience as a instructor who took care of 18 studentts!! how keco cld that be right and i admit i do love camp alot!! my team was the second loudest when chef alex ask to cheer for the team who really liked their instructor. i felt happy as even though i was the only one who was nt that experiencedint his camp, i was loved and got the second loudest cheer frm my grp other than the experienced instructors. haha!!

Ending of a camp:
the instructors and chief larry and alex, we wnet to comapss point kfc to chill and compile the evaluation form. and the last briefing for the day plus confirming our posb account for transfer of our pay. cool!! the next camp is 20 to 22 nov(that will be my training camp for @SPIRIT)

En met rj and chill at Bojangles bar ..let out my problems and spent time together. get a drink or two and honestly, lemon margritha is damn nice!! but i can still taste thetequillia. rj and me wanted to get shots but i was no way.. its ok!! haha.. best uh chil there and the place was near nad's house. en left tt place en went to sit around, played truth and dare blablabla .... and en went home at 7 am ard there. mum and dad never scold coz i think they know tt im turnign 18 soon so, responsibility and trust upon them is accepted alrd. well, good uh. and im looking forward to chill with sara and nad at maybe Bojangles again. Get a drink or two en go gaga! haha:)

Well, thats all i guess. didnt get wasted or drunk. just nice so.

Home:
surprisingly, saw a package hunged at the my big gate outside my house. When i looked into it, there it was.. my stuffs back from Luqman.. You know, you shld have just kept or throw it away. Thanksanyway for the drop by. And en, read through what i wrote to him and my clothes back. blablabla. and i received a letter from boys home. it was nasiruddin. idk who te hell he is.i think he is my cuz friend who is apparently boys home also. now needto to write him a letter back.

Thats all:)

Pls hear me out..



another substitute for beach.
its cool and calm at night at level 11 onwards.
its a great place to chill out and relax your mind eventhough all you can see is buildings buildings and more buildings. but this does not makes you feel much more aggitated or irritated. but more of relaxing because of the fresh air that replenish every second around you. you feel like youre in a garden in your own house especially at night till late. tt place you cant sit or stay for a long time but who cares. just stay as long you like and enjoy the feel good breeze.

spent quality time with rj. went to pastamania,catch 500 days of summer en go,nike shop at orchard to buy lappy case!! damn nice.. and then went to level 11 and chill there. and doubts were all answered.
hugs and kisses.

when the time comes, i had to feel soooo sentitive, easily angry, feel sad even i little bad things was done towards me, the pass feeling came back, big fucking appetite, damn thristy, stomach feel uneasy(like cram uh),vagina fels like so uneasy, feel like crying(cried already), just cant think properly, feel upset, depressed, restless, not talking much, get irritated easily, feel like i have alot of problems, fel damn down..

i miss zyra, dan,syazwan, nad, sara,ryan,idk y..

zyra bdae cmin up & syazwan too. their bdae falls on the same day plak tu.. hmm...
idk wht to do..im soo bz.with helping myself up to my own feet.
must plan plan plan..n meet zyra up soon. yeayy..

Nowim feeling much better after sara consoled me abt how i felt whilei was crying in sch smore..paiseh..bt no one alrd uh.yeah.. bout luqman, this guy, family, other problems..n mostly imy nad alot.

yeahh.. but nw i wna fight my feeling back and just be strong. i cant make myself vulnerable coz i know, if i were to be that, i am at te loss.
haiis. y must i go through this.. cant over it..its tough..

tmr ut n my friends are watching heoes in front of me..

yeayy... today rj performance. great performance rj!! cheers to you.
so, went to sch as normal. en at twelve ++ i met rj at wldns ctrl stn to accompany me to Tan Tock Seng hospital for my physio. and had great fun.haha hai...
My physio doctor was an eurasian guy! OMFG!! HE IS SO DAMN FREAKING HOT JUST CANT STOP SMILING!!! CHEEBAIII.. CUTE SIOW TING TONG. anyway, he massaged my elbo and exercise my hand and others..blablabla.. n most of the time i was looking into his blue eyes.OMFG AGAIN!!! I WAS LIKE SHIT LUH..HAIISSS.. and its kinda awkward coz i wasnt prepared to see such a hot doc. OMFG!! IM FREAKING OUT AGAIN. haha.. and my next appt is on the 13/11 and guesss wht? IT CLASHES with my UT !!!! must rearrange another day or make it later or wht uh.walao..so the mafan.. good good... next doctor is KEN and i duno how he might looklike. so, whenever i wna go ttsh, all the nice nice dresses gna come out ok.haha..sohapy.. but after tt yesterday was another story. LUQMAN came to my house.i knew t. i can feel it. its like a gut feeling that i have ever since the second break.i knew something was not gg to be right. but when it classes end, suddenly i duno why out of the bloom the thought of" luqman coming to my house" was in the picture in my mind. and i had a strong feeling for ths to happen. ididnt want to care about it so much as i did not want to dwell over him.i have to get over him.i cant let myself another chance to him.its too much. and when i reached hm, my sis told ,me he came.i was like wtf!!!! n mum n dad dun like.en my dad say, if he disturb me again tell him.

Luqman, i dun wna give you fat hopes ok. plsjust leave n forget me by all means. evven though Ash told you tt i am over you, i am not,.im still coping to.i must know what i am and wht i am doing.i cant get ack to or with you as i know it will not get any better. forget all the sex and fore-play. Ure not the father of my baby,coz i dun have one. so, just be yourself ok. best wishess to you always. find our own philosophy i life and work towards it.

now my back s aching while im waiting for sara nadiah bte zakariah to arrive from watching footbal match( POL-ITE) games. yeah n listening to song n such..
the reason why my updates are long because, i cant be bothers to log into blogger or fb anymore coz i am sick of these. and moreover, i have no time ok.

so, cheers to all and im sarting a newlife filled with excitement and more exciting things coming my way.. so, why should i fred?

peace out, ella.



weekends are tired coz gt booth at expo sell food to promote our catering services.fun sow. my first time handling cashier n suddenly i feel good in maths.haha. damn fun and great experience. yeayy. en ate and ate and ate like every second.walaoweii lucky nt fat.haha.. and whenever open the cashier to give the money back to the customer, the $10 like one stack siow. n $50 like ucking alot uh.wah.... but the rent at the expo is $2800 for 4 days and it is oly 300m x 300m in length and width.small yet ex.
n my booth neighbour sells all the fried stuff and RAMLY burger. and the most surprising thing is tt, the guy next to my booth asked for my number from morn till the clearing time.wahlao... haha:) irritating but ok uh. he looks likke damn matrep.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.aint no my type de. so, my uncle help me by giving him an unknown number. n at last he stop bugging me.haiyooo these ppl.
nolife, go sweep road sua eh.haha
well, now in class listening to 6p by a relief faci.like wna act sia he.eee..stop it eh.. n short tongue. a girl wont have a great time exchanging salivva with him coz short tongue.loser.wtv lah you..

well aft sch..dunn wht to do. morning, friends irritate me haiis. but its ok. next time i wna go sch alone.so, cn start off the day with a smile instead with a sucky feeling.
dah uh.. en my ex called.fuck you fuck you very very much.

n nad, haiiss..duno wht to say.

thats all.

Im in class now and waiting to present. Maths today. and i am very enthu not like before. hmm...i guess the teammates and my energy helps me to be more confident n start feeling maths is great when i understand it and even more fun when we discuss.

Nw my turn to present. i mean my group.shit uh... haiissss.. my target rade : C
coz i do not understand so much uh.
blopblopblop..looking forward to hang out aft sch..




Today start boringly.
It is because, after a night out, was damn tired and more over MATHS was the module for today. OMFG!! imagine the subject you hate, you have to live with it for the whole day from morn till 3.30..
hmm...
BUT! SURPRISINGLY!!!

despite my tiredness, i feel good tenenenene you know that i would tenenenenene.haha!!
i thought i didnt want ot contribute.
but the genius of the grp never cm.s this is my freaking first time doingand teaching my teammate n my other classmates on maths!!
credits too sara n ariff. i cant believe it.
but, yes! there are still other undertsandings to b done also wht..

AND

the day start off with me waking up at 6.30 + and left house at abt7.35 ard there! i asked my mum whether cn wake daddy up to sent me nt.en my mum say wai daddy angry coz he tired. so i risked my 21$$$$ to take a cab just not be late as this is my first maths attended module for this semester so i do not want to create a bad impression coz the first module,i did not attend as i went for a hospt appt.

but i reached damn early!! at 8 am. damn early.walauweiiiii.. never b4 siow tingtong... and i did my rj for the talk i went to. cooluh..

now, i feel i somehow like maths. coz its just like the mystery. yeayyy!!
and when the school time ends, i am in for SUSHI MAKING!! yeayyy..but unfortunately i m alone.but who cares!!!! just wna be with my sushi! haha:)

love, ella :D

spent ard 3 hrs there 4 waiting time and consultation,medication,plaster n eat.
i was confident that after opening hthe support and bandage, my arm cld move freely. but no!!
When the doctor took off the bandages n the support.Wahliao!!!! my arm like vegetable siow..
cannot move much. only my fingers n some movement on my elbow..
n painful again.
but the doctor prescribed me with extra strong painkillers and the best part is i have to attend physio to exercise my vegetable hand. i cant raise my hand for so long or carry stuffs at all.
and the best part is i feel LIKE PUTTING ON THE SUPPORT N BANDAGE BACK..easier to move with tt on. ouch!
en i told the doctor tt i dun wan put the support back cn or not. he say can but if in btw the 6 weeks,i fall again or go or rock climbing,he will put me back on support n bandage again.
And now i will HAVE TO USE THE ARM SLING FOR 1 MTH so tt i wont hurt my arm or ppl wont hurt em.

pfftssss...

bottomline: right hand still useless.i still have to type with my left hand.

WANT TO KNOW THE REASON WHY I ASKED YU TO RELEASE ME?
i cant take the thoughts n the heartbreak that is still kept in my heart.
its painful.. everytime i think of it, i cry n feel so upset.
idk bout you n i dun wish to know pls.. i cant take it.

our blog? cn go n wrap up n bury it ok.

contact? cn top alrd..u have stopped wht so? i dun wish to receive any tex,mails,calls or any way of communication from you.

i dun want to put a fat hope on you tt you will get me back..no..i dun wish too.
i am sabeela n i live n control the way my destination in the future to be. dun wait.

pictures? i still keep coz i know tt the memories cn never be lost unless i am less than 3 yrs old right..

i love you,yes i do but, i cant continue, i gotto put a stop to it.
pls dont say it aggain eventhough ur words blow my mind..

till here ima end this entry, thx for the beautiful moments we had n shared
be it in :
bus
my house
your house
bed
..etc too much to specify.

love,ella

to fill mylazy day up. how i wish there is such places in singapore.but keep dreaming ella!!! blopblopblop..

miss the sandy beach, the breeze and the release of stressness.. just like fun..

And ever since i bought myself the beautiful wedges, i have been wearing them like everyday whenever i go out. damn comfortable seh.. woohoo... best..

haha:) this wed, meet promised to meet mont but i tink ima meet him with sara en cn ajak ppl to chill too. jeah.. kecian mont. have to finish his stressful recording.haha:) cheer up okey grumpy.

Wed timetable: morning meet nad(and sara if she wna follow) at rp swimming complex to swim.at about one or two, meet sara(if she never folo go swimming) myb with nad(if she wna follow) with mont at venue still nedd to be confirmed, en chill and such till late or so.. en at night myb go town or so till tmr morn.hopefully if im n tired uh.haha!!

well, the job thingy, im nt sre seh.. tmr the training.. hmm... must confirm with sara again.

anywaey, nth else ot update much except for my fb.. long time never go in fb.hah:) kk update soon blopblopblop:P

happy chic, ella!

At abt 1 pm or so, my friends aka my elder sis friends came to my house to jalan raya. every year they would come to visit from i stay at eunos till potong pasir. miss the old times whn i was still a kid in uniform. went to tamp to meet ma ex. and till now he still visit me every year for raya.haha. nice guy but no interest. and my used to be abang angkat till he angkat me alrd still there. n this guy i used to hang out with still do come. haha. these three ppl ore once i called brothers in my life coz i do not have an elder bro or younger one. so these are the ppl i looked up to.haha.
so, after the visits, me n ma kak went to CCAB (co-curriculum activities branch) ,with RJ,Faizal for the dinner treat coz im under innotrek at that moment of time. and jeah. had fun. free nice food with sushi and fruit tarts. yipee...haha:)
en after that, we went to cathay cineleasure to catch phobia 2. ok hate this movie coz there was gore!!!! imagine the stomach bloated out till it bursts and the insides all come out. damn disgusing n i felt like vomitting alrd seh. lucky rj was sitting beside me in the theater. n he calmed me down.i was all the way partly covering my eyes n leaning onto rj coz i was damn scared.haah.of ghosts never mind uh. ni gore siow. eeeee.... so saddist.eh....
well, after the movie, went to ave a night snack at the beancurd stall n damn nce uh the tart.. and i know where is MADJACK alrd sara!! at selegie road. drp down at dhoby.walk allt he way towards cathay n further up. near the macdoalds uh. the place was also nie n kinda cosy uh.. wna eat threre soon.hehe.
Lastly, we went hm at abt eleven plus gg to twelve.haha. tot of not gg hm orgg hm at abt 2 am or so but my kak need to do her fyp stuffs so, go hm uh.

anyway, i passed all my modules even though i got D for 3 modules, one A and one B. im happy already. after all im not that genius or clever.so alhamdullilah amin. im very grateful for what i got and this coming semester, i wna focus and be serious. no more playing n no more boy business eh ella.hah

n love wat i wna do now.hah..
get dance movies frm rj n watch em dude!!

sayonara,ella:P



I did not went online that day .










Morning morning must wake up already to go grandad's place,grandmum's place, my mum's side uncle's place & some my dad.
tiring and eateateat.
happy uh get to eat alot.hah. now im hungry again.
Damn sien de now.
hate you lah mr self proclaimed P fr which i think in this case is mr.PERASAAN.
PFFTSSSSSSS! hehe:)

But collectionis alot. And as usual my, aunties and uncles & cousins mistaken me as the 3rd child coz im the smallest in the family. wht to do hah.. tkprlah.. wait cn get more collection coz they look im still young and like secondary sch.hahaha:) best pa.

I cant wait to go out with nad, sara, syzwan, syasya, ryan, danish. eeeyyyyeeeaaaayyyy!! hehe:)
And syazwan is the planner.so got to tell him in advance which day i am able to make it or not.

JEAH!! miss em and wna meet em!!!

Now its 9+ and i do not know why suddenly woke up at 9 when i am suppose to wake up at abt 10 and en have my quick breakfast n bathe n change n go out by eleven. hmm.. weird.

I feel like eating cheeseburger haha.An also oreo cereal. yummy eh..

After yesterday's work, i thought my sis n i would not get money for helping out. Tapi, we got lah..Best.

And so, my savings has started til myb end of this yr or when there is a sale en i'll shop.

Something strange is still happening, i do not know why i still feel nervous when thinking or when i want to go for rock climbing. It's damn scary as i duno why also seh. hmm...

But i guess once i climb i cn never stop!!

gtg.

love, ella:)

ok tiring.
evn typing now may seem tiring to me.after a two day's after helping my parents out.haiis..
i dun wna type lot here coz im damn tired.
hah. tired is all i cn think of right now.
and cant wait for climbing tmr.

so c ya.

love,
ella:)

























Hari Raya i nearing and i dun give a damn care bout it. The whole idea is walauweii so mafaan uh.
Have to clean the whole house frm top to bottom. PFFTTSS! kalau rumah small nevermind uh.Besar n lazy eh wna clean.
YES! WHO WNA COME TO CLEAN MY HOUSE, SILAKAN.

Sent card n such..
Baju wise, my mum allow me and my siblings to use the baju pengatin!! damn happy sia. only for this im happy uh.
i choose the peach coloured songket to wear on the first day. cool wht.. n my whole family is gna wear songket.damn hot uh wait.
n i dun like to jalan jalan raye eh especially org tua tua. damn long like wna tdo lyk dta. but i know tk bek sae like that coz we gotta espect em' ..

And luckily uh,my grand dad never raya at my house this year or else, me n ma siblings will be like maids!! yahoo!! damn happy.
And i cnat wait to meet my friends back to share whats been missingup in my n their lifes.

woohoo!! n i know that nad cant wait for sch to start so cn do more activity.blablabla.
i cant wait to swim coz i bought a new swimming costume at 5 freaking bucks only eh!! if i dun want cn thrw n buy new one again!! yipee.damnhappy. n it is green in colour like how i wanted the design to be. all in wht i wanted. coolpick ella. but i gota prob, there is no padding at the breast area, en if i swim, cnfm the nipple cn see, so nee to think of a solution, or i ask ma mum uh senang..blopblopblop!!!

and ima get ma adidas stuffs at song & song! damn cheap like below 50 or 40 seh. and the tees costs below 20!! cool ht. n its good in cond lor but must try first uh in case gt any defacts or such.
and i feel like cremery island alrd. damn you MONT!U GOT ME FREAKING ADDICTED TO IT LUH.. PFFTSSS! HAAH:)

well, that's all uh .

love,
ella:) the girl that will never say "i sayang you" to males.thank you.

Ey! Today was a great day. Went to army museum that I signed up earlier. With Sara n Nad. Cam whored and laughed my asses out ...i cant wait 4 e pictures to be out.haha I want the original copy of the pictures eh sara!! Haha and then after army museum, went to discovery centre and took the paddling ride on the river which costs $2 per person. Had fun and they kacau me again as per usual.haha en meat hel and mont with me n sara on the esplanade roof.surprise mont with birthday cake! En he got me a cremary island ice cream.yipee.happy seh. En joke aroung woth sara n hel n mont.gerek.haha ... en I was awarded the sarcastic award. I passed!! And shook hands with sara nadiah bte zakariah. Jeah!! Haha  and then, took more pictures and talks talks talks. En go hm at abt eleven 50 or so.haha..
The most historical moment was I was going to wash my leg. I FELL IN THE TOILET BUT DOWN STRAIGHT.haha damn funny!! N I hurt my toe.haha got cut. En after that I keep on hitting myself against something.haha.n I hurt my root of the middle finger against sara’s dressing table. Now want to kena air pin.haha en after that, I kept on langar-ing nad haha!!! En after that sara dun allow me to carry anything to the table to siap for buke.she scared I make it fall because of my clumsyness.haha!! nice move ey!
And im damn happy too coz ma gaji coming in,hari raya money coming in, ma elder sis need to pay me money smore. And these cash is all I wna save en I wna spent on my necessities and such.i do not need help fro sm ppl.
Whatsoever...
After that, I called sara to ask how was she coz she tex me like in need of help seh. Well,she just gota be straight ans tell ok.im here if you need me.
But take your time also.
And now im talking to mont.haha happy seh he me giving him surprises. Cool. Im unpredictable bro!! Haha I said it bro..blopblopblop.slap me all you want! N I want to step on his metallic space shoe n pluck out the diamonds one by one in fornt of your eyes eh!! Haha! Nolah..haha.but I wnat to try cn mont! I ajak sara n nad in to join me uh cn? Haha
I love taylor swift alot eh! Damn pretty. N I want my old hp back!! Sad sia.miss he pic in it n the model pictures that I took.hmm..well, gota just seize the truth, recognise the real and deal with it sio.hah..
Okey..got a hit the bed real soon.
Love, ella!

As i take a few minutes of listening to this wonderful song,i captured the words and its meaning.
I found out that it is real true.That whatever is listed in this song did really happen to me.I love this song as it made me realise how lousy and different i was when i was fifteen. Indeed, this song is increibly related to me.Surprisingly, i regreted and now i know what i want in my life.Who i am suppose to be with.I did'nt know who i was suppose to be with a few years back but now i know.People who changed my life and advice me to lead me to the right path of my life.Because i know that everyone's life is unique and different in way or another.

I know that whatever happen to me is always for a reason.And i know what is mine: to change my future.To realise that i have an even brighter future and prospect in life.This is life before i know who i am going to be.People make mistakes, i am a human therefore i make mistakes.

First love does not always happen right.Fifteen was when i was lost and my head spin around as i do not know life yet.

And i always wish that i knew what i havent knew when i was fifteen.But this is part and parcel of life. Through tears and fears, i learned to become mature and think before doing something. That's where i am right here right now. Without people in my life, i will surely be inthe worng direction.

Thank you MUMMY, DADDY, KOTAK, JOYA, ZYRA, DANNY, LUQMAN, MONT, SARA, NAD, SYAZWAN, ARIFF, CIKGU NAZ.. and those who has nurtured me in life that made me this way.

I feel lucky and wonder what i would do if these people is not in my life.

Love,ELLA

the reason y im single is because i force myself too.
i am a girl wh cant be single for long ok.

so,im nt interested in guys,just friends.
and till i meet this requirements, i am free for him.
never a les!
and ppl like this makes me go ooooooo..haha:)

physically:

1) dun smoke
2) dun drink alcoholic beverges
3)no piercings
4) colour skin is TAN or dark but not so dark uh.
5)no tattoos
6) able to project himself smartley.do not have to be good looking but at least clear skin and a lil good looking cn uh.
7) black or a shade of dark brown hair colour
8) not too tall, just nice of abt 165 and above.
9) buff body, a lil muscular cn.
10) do not take drugs unless prescribed by doctor.

Academically:

1) at least a degree
2)able to speak and understand malay easily(for future purposes)
3)is once in a uniformed group.

mentally(attitude wise n such):

1)loving& caring
2) understanding
3)independent
4) trustworthy
5)honest
6)capable of making simple or tough decisions and consequences
7) do not have the CLUBBING ATTITUDE
8)know how to and when to love greatly(meaning t understand me better en know when i want the love part-not sex)
9)able to mix with my friends
10) not that ego eh.
11)think about the future and good for himself in te future.
12)able to win my parents heart(for future purposes)
13)stable job(for future), stable n good income(for future)
14)helpful


this are the qualities and i wont give up till i find the good one.so im not up for a relationship ok.
i dun fall yet coz i dun want to n thats how i treat guys when they know me.good or bad its me.
beat it:P


i just love taylor swift songs!!

love,ella:P



Hey! blopblopblop.

im feeling all happy n great today..
yesterday, didnt get to buke with ma sec ppl coz end work late.wooho.
but whatsoever, i had a real great enjoyable time at the 3 days of work.
got sunburnt and darker.haha:)

the worse thing is i lost ma ez link card seh.walauweii..
but nehmind.im usiing ma mum's card.
and gotta go punggol to get ma ezlink card and pass mont his ezlink card back.haha:)(classic)

en i went to sara nad's house today with nad!! the bestfriend's hangout day.haha:)
wnted t watch gore but i tot of watching horror en gore.watch watch watch en got no time to watch gore.so tmr i'll maybe be meetin up with naddy n watch more movies.hah:)
but sara cannot too bad coz she wna go out with her friend.boo uh!!haha:))))

en when go home, ma uncle irritating to the maximum of the infinity eh..
its like, i place the kitche containing jemputjemput beside the empty space on the begedil plate eh. en he say, eh, y u put there.and started to comment useless thingy stuffs.
like is'nt what kithen towel for? placing ur goreng-ed food on it?
and what part of te kitchen towel is not suppose to be used or its dirty.if that's the case, y manufacturer sell and why ppl buy? no logic eh uncle.walauweii.
just put beside it talk alot. better then i put the jemputjemput beside the begedil itself right? like mummy say, do not mx the food together,wna put food together, put the kitchen towel together woth it so that the taste wont spoil and so cn have like a compartment of food.

doinks eh..

well, anyway, cant wait to go for upcoming events lik the race en cn ton!!yipee!!!haha:)

n im irritated eh if ppl nevr bong their own bag en wna tompang tompang.if bag full tkper uh.ni..tk bwk lansung.en wnna take ur stuffs, gotta everytime disturb ma peaceness and take my bag.irritating eh!!

urm,im waiting fr the azan to sound off en go pray at mosque for teraweh n ishak.haha:)

thats all uh.be back soon..

love, ella..

how interestine could it be.

Monday, August 31, 2009 @ 8/31/2009 11:21:00 PM

As i read my friends entries in their blogs, i found something that i had just observed and mulled over. very random but very interesting.

These concept may be innate in them but why is this trend so? is it because of different people different perception? who is to blame or praise for all of this?

anyway anyhow..what i observed from these bloggers and how special are their blog is in each entry.

Sara- mostly about Jaejoong n her.
Nadiyah- mostly on her random thingy and her life and future thoughts and needs.
Zyra- mostly on her life n school.
Danny- mostly on his boredom and perceptions.
Serenade- mostly on her life and words of wisdom.
Syazwan- mostly on emotions and life and anger.
Ryan- mostly on life experience and self thoughts.(more on funny sarcasm)


thats all tt i observed in these blogs.
but mostly on life experiences and feelings. jyeah..tt's wht blogs are for.



MASTERS SWIMMING THINGY:
had great fun with my bunch of friends who went n keco ok.
last day, sara n nad gotta stop bullying me ok.sad tao.
dey wna shoot me with rubber band seh!! i sared seh. en nad action action wna shhot, kena my forehead.
haha:)funny uh but i dun like. well, en i merajok sekejap n stand at the end of the bustop yellow line.en when nad n sara wna take me or pujuk me, i go cross the road to the othr bus stop.haha:) en bus came.
like i dun wna the day to end but we are all tired seh.haha!!

en i the bus they blopblopblop me again.haha!! ass lah.pfftsss! but tkper, i wll get ma revenge! haha:)

love nad so much! miss her seh. n her randomness-havent been hearing abt spongebob for long.haha:)
sara as usual her sarcasm no1 n bully no2(coz in the end pujuk uh..)
hahhahhahha:)

two birthdays in straight rows. nad en then mont.walao..but nehmind:0
got everything planned alrd.not sure if it gna work nt uh..
i gt briefing on 3rd sept at labrador there foa amazing race thingy happening soon.

N STOP ASKING ME BOUT UR BDAE COZ ITS LIKE UR SO THICK SKIN EH.JUST LET TIME PASS N WHO REMEMBERS YOU WILL DEFINETLY WISH YOUR OR ELSE SOME OTHER SURPRISES WILL BE IN STORE FOR YOU.DOOT EXPECT COZ UR EXPECTATIONS WILL BRING DISSAPOINTMENTS TO YOU ONLY.JUST APPRECIATE M CN ALRD.:)

love you ppl:0

what shall i say?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 @ 8/26/2009 10:18:00 PM

hmm.. fasting month is here n blogger is such an ass n idky.so,gtg ok. posting blog like bored coz sch is down alrd.pfftss.now wna search job but cant get one.walaueeiii....

en i hope soem miracle would be upon me to get the job i wnated like retail thingy..hmm...

miss sara nadiah, nad bebeh, sara, zyra, danny,cicak,khai(idky), sammie,jemie,becky,mel darling, christine,dzulyadain,zulhilmi, zy square face,dil,ross n more tt i didnt mentioned.walauweii..

i gttg so jyeah.

What a day

Wednesday, August 19, 2009 @ 8/19/2009 10:10:00 PM

Today is the first understanding test(UT)- Enterprise module exam uh..
I gt no confidence uh but hopefully i would pass ..hehehe:))
En after exam met sara n iaan(funny nice guy!!) , dee, shawn, n one more girl at TRCC(in my school of course)haha:)
and ate n talked blablabla.. en got o the usual place to study science and en at abt 4 pm, met syasya to go to Haw Par Villa with sara n syasya..gerek dok!!
but syasya, the scream has got to go low eh.haha:) pekik dah mcm kene rogol seh.
haha:)
sara, as usual sarcasm at its best point of the day especially in the morning when go sch with
her.haha:)

Check the place out n such n experience the understanding of what the believers are believing when they are in hell. N now my neck is rashing seh.haiis..
after the adventurous hike ard HPV, we deciced to go to harbourfront(vivo) to eat!! hhe:) en blablabla.. start gile-ness at the coffee shop.syasya syasya.. nth to say. so the selengeh neh mampuhsss.haha but funny uh.

En we chilled at vivo. The non air conned place..al u shld know where luh. where the scenery is sentosa and sea.haha:) en do stoopid stuffs.

I wana press right there right there right there!!(singing in the Right now nanana melody)-syasya.

And we shared in depth suffs.haha. blablabla.. en went hm at abt 9 smth uh i think.
n tomorrow idk what will the plan be.i just love playing truth or dare and love lemons!! o the sedap eh:) wewewewewwewewee!!
gerek.n we thought of playing a game wherebythe loser has to

Labels: i love lemons

mind in misery.

Monday, August 17, 2009 @ 8/17/2009 04:49:00 PM

OMFG!! im sorry for what i've done.shit! i should have blamed myself. Told sara everything n the blame is all on me.walauweii.i know suck but what about the other party.The person may feel lagi upset and pissed seh bcoz of my attitude.haiis. ijudt do not know what to do.

If god wants my way like this then i shall accept with tears. no words to say. all mixed feelings. and i'm not feeling rather any well or better.
Feeling sick and feel like vommiting. headache and block nose frm yesterday. Slept at abt 1 or so. thinking and reflecting for what i he done that actually causes hurt. Something like PDT uh. I do not know what to expect. I do not know what i want and need. It is all jumbled up. Sorry fro the mistake... Usually if i do this attitude to the other party(previous experiences), he will just hack care bout me and that is where i go the attitude from. Not pijak-ing kepale or anything eh.
Just wants whats best for the person and me thats all.(most importantly is the person uh, so that he would not live ;life of hatred and grudges.)

Besides that, i cant explain nimore as the person would not want to reply or listen to what i have to say eventhough i had waited throught the nights and constantly checked my phone for any tx messages consisting of forgiving message.

But nothing appeared. so i guess this is the end of what we have known to be a really nice journey knowing you and ur fellow friends.Im really sincerely sorry for my mistakes for what i have done to you. Urm,myb im just not ready to start opening my circle of kenaling guys yet.

and Sorry luqman coz i just cant do what u told me to do. giving myself another chance to open myself up to guys ut not hating em'... really useless..

im done blogging for now. and i wrote a poem for mont but nt gg to release it yet till the right moment.

c you ard.

miss you:p

Labels: sad saddend

EMO-tion less . ' -- '

Friday, August 14, 2009 @ 8/14/2009 11:34:00 PM

im irritated uh n idk y ok. i just hate.. idk wht i hate. hate hate hate. when you talk bout this. thx for helping n advicing but i know my way just need me to realise and take time with what i am doing.i too have been in this point of position b4 but nt 4 years n years like b4. so its new n i cn cope.i know hw to cope. i duno hw to say or to tell you tt im fine. i may sound diff coz im cranky n tired at night as younger sis like wtf! mum irritating!!! walauweiii!!! fucking irritating alrd. en nw more irritated. no more happiness or laughter to come out frm me nimore coz its getting late n im tired.very very much tired.

i know i hurt you.sorry.well, u put the phone down like dat wad. i was like wtf. so i didnt care uh.i know what i want but at the same time i do not know what i wnat to . my dreams and hopes arent actual as time can changes it all.

ure presence is much appreciated but please keep the distance. idk y i am saying this because i just felt too confined in mhy privacy place. what i feel like telling u i tell,what i dun feellike i dun. simple. n i will hold on to irls have to be strong and firm, but not to follow based on our feelings only.

i think it is true to someway somehow.

goodnight.

love you danny!! miss you alrd!!haha:))

happy birthday boy!!!!

Labels: danny birthday

13 august 2009

@ 8/14/2009 10:39:00 AM

Haooy day!

Followed sara to tampinese for recording n such.haha. best. en, met Hel a changi airport and went to eat popeye's. Damn loud uh we(i think me uh:p) .laugh laughlaugh alot alot alot. make stoopid stoopid stuffs.haha.. cheyy sara n heaven sweet seh,hold hands.weeeweettt!!! hahha..kudos girl!

en spent like abt an hr at popeye's coz f jokings and being irritating. Heaven mcm bored seh.cian dier. i duno if he gt sense of humor or not. i think he was calculating how high the probability is our sense of humor, and jokes and hwether he should laugh or not. Cheers to the maths whizz. hahhaaha.. LAUGH UH HEAVEN..WALAUWEEIIII..nt fun tao one person nvr ROFL!! ok anyway, Me and sara plays the ABCDEFG.. game and the ending letter must be a word..smth like dat uh. idk hw to explain uh. -.- En there was this point where i am suppose t name a place start with the letter D. and ihad no freaking idea to what it was because like the word stuck when t can actually come out. haha. n i said DISHWASHER. hahahahaha!! damn cock uh.walauweii.. n we shared about handphones dropiing in somewhere. -.-....

Besides that, had great fun and laughter. Abt ten plus, we went hm and in the train i was sleeping on sara's shoulder. Tk perasan uh i am suppose to get off at ct hall but miss all because i dropped my handphone. and a handosome chinese guy helped me pick it up. so nice of him and cute sia.wlauweii.but gt tattoo.. -.- en drop off at raffles place n went hm.

At hm, surprised by my kakak; hair. blonde and brown-it was for the fashion show in modelling next wk. en kena lecture frm ma mum n dad. walauweiiparents! give a break uh! u cant expect us to always be soo tight on ur eys right. that way we will be more spoilt uh!! -.- irritating uh.but ma kakak oso one pantat. haiis....

I DUN WNA TALK TO FAHEEM UH!(seriously)

Sat on ma bed n ma kak ask me bout luqman. I started crying. IDK Y. miss him so damn much uh. But everytime i try to hide the true me about him.inside me it still burns. memories rushed n i felt terrible. The truth is i had missed him from the day i broke up with him. Itried to keep to myself but everytime i do, i cry.its too painful seh. haiis. i love him! i still do. shit(y am i saying all of this) i cant controll it. I filled my week up everyday but there is still time tothink bout luqman. y eh? like itis impossible to forget but possible to forgive. idk what i should do. but i know i can manage it.

kakak say do not call luqman but i did when she was in the toilet bathing at one am plus uh. cried on the phone while talking to him. tell him how i felt n such. haisss.. after put phone down, cried still. cant control n ma kakak pujok uh. en i fell asleep with nici.

thats all.:p

just so yesterday.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 @ 8/12/2009 02:14:00 PM

went to school. bla bla bla..

lesson n stuffs. bla bla bla.

met luqman : this is where the heat starts.

i was filled with anxiety and curiosness for what to expect when i am with him. likeyou just get to know the person kinda thing.yaknow ya know..

en when i saw him.. jeng jeng jeng...walauweii. got a shock of my life.lucky never heart attack waithe must do cpr.woohoo.ok.. en we just shared things n stuffs.

about his life my life, his family my family, my life in rp n the experiences i have, what has he progressed now, my busy schedule, he n his achieved dream. n many more..haha;D

en had great fun talking to him. n still remained my distance. like miss giler babi letak atas kepale.haha.. and memories- good n bad, happy n sad- rushed like strong current of water in my brain.hmmm...idk eh..wht to feel at tt moment.

and the first time out of the 2 yrs + after getting to know each other, he said " hmm...u kuat makan jgk eh" haha..felt paiseh but whtver..good wad.getting fat..

and speaking of fat, my zip broke.

this is what happens:

venue: toilet level 5, first cubicle(specific enuf?)- ;D
time : after class ends abt 3pm??
situation: went to toilet to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :b after pee, pulled ma shorts up n heard a " tteerrrkkkkk" sound. en i checked my shorts at the back to see tear not uh.. nothing.
en when i wanna zip it up,zip broke!!! i was like shit!!!! wad am i suppose to do. took lik a freaking long time to fix back but failed seh. en arti came in the toilet n ask me why i taking so longcame out of the cubicle and showed her my zip broke(while wearing pants uh).. laughed n went out ofthe toilet with covering with my long mango longsleeve shirt.funny seh.. go down followbu wallfe. en go msn, ask friends for safety pin.n the best thing ii sim gg to meet luqman later.haha.paiseh.en sara lend me her jeans. lucky she using dress seh.woohoo.hha...changed n freaking big uh.n panas.jeans katerkan.haha..

wasted: just about to pretty pretty, en suay..walauweii de.

en aft tt ,met luqman, go back sch en go hm. hhaa.at home ma mum was like, wad happen to you???!! shorts zip pecah fried borrowed me her jeans. en ma mum sae tu ah eat eat eat alot,kan dah gemok. en i sae a'ah puki dah gemok.haha. pantat..haha...funny..
now need to buy new shorts.

thanks sara nadiah bte zakariah for the jeans.haha.. n shamira too.wewewe!!hehe..

saratini.

Monday, August 10, 2009 @ 8/10/2009 08:43:00 PM

Hey girl.
I know there has been alot of misunderstandings between us even though we did not contact or even face each other in school. But i just want to clear the doubts you have on your mind, heart, thoughts. So as to lead another better day instead of keeping grudges. Hmmm...About other notices and posts in the future to come, i will not write anything bout you ok saratini. I will tell you straight by MSN or PHONE or FACE or SMS or whatever form of communication there is. hehe:)

I know somehow somewhat, there are still something that you want to say indirectly. Hmm...I dun mind iof it hurt sooo badly because i can face it.

What else is worse than getting dumped before? or a broke up or so.. Hmm..Just a simple note that I want to convey to you.Besides that, I hope you are in the pinkiest of health and enjoy your upcoming classmates when the semester changes.

Till then, see you where ever we meant to see each other ok?! :P



LOVE; sabeela.

Labels: for saratini.

Sunday, August 9, 2009 @ 8/09/2009 09:08:00 PM

..If u gotta say smth else confront me. Just sppillllll in front of ma face.

CICAK.I MISS YOU DAMN FREAKING LOT OK.

saratini: 0.o did i say smth wrong tt hurt you.if i did en tell me.ure just 2 classes away. n i know ure referring to me in ur blog.

serenade: ok i'll call u sara. n the other saratini. ok.

zyra: shit! miss you..haha.wna meet u soon.~nice pic tou.

incomplete business.
goldfish are cute.~random.

hmm...wht sld i sae.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 @ 8/04/2009 05:32:00 PM

now im sitting on the seat in front of the swimming pool n waiting for ma friends to end swimming n i had a frakin ulcer. What's worse.THE BITCH IS WALKING IN SPORTS COMPLEX NOT KNOWING SHE IS SUCH A WHORE N SHE JUST CAN GO BOYS HOPPING EVERYDAY.WHO IS SHE GG TO HUG NEXT? ur de damn pretty but y boys hop again? meaning ure just sm cheap whore who cant enuf of dicks right tt's y u went the desperate way. FYI motherfucker! ur just sm small chest n no but kid who needs a damn long rehab okey sweetie! u cm here to not show n boys hop .might as well strip.duh. fucking lame i tell u.wish u were lame.im sure ur attitude suites the word slut.

next is today..no comments on the rugby thingy. i know i know public duno.

next is the hatred ness im feeling. i hate guys n i duno y. dun ask me at all. shut up n put ur money where ure mouth is. im not interested in guys. im straight.i dun want any relationship!!so cn we please just be friends? if tt is too hard en 4get me. im pissed right nw n cn sae anything!
warning!! do not ask me anythng abt wht u just read in this entries coz i wont entertain!! definetly not entertain!!!!LUQMAN HAQIM bin MOHANI made me feel this way.all i care nw is sports n studies n my own beautiful life ok. im serious. appreciate to wht tt has been done towards me. but i just do not want to be special nimore.im sick of tt. not nw pls. not even crushes i will entertain.this goes out to all guys. dislike being near them.idk y im saying all these.im just pissed n feel so damn shitty uncomfortable ard you mles ok.so dun make my darah go up.n dun beat tt.thx.

next is the friendship n the relationship thingy. go to the fucking hell away cn twerp.waluweii..these things make me feel miserable ok cheebai's.. leave ure friends for sm pussy aint gonna make u go nowhere sia boi.lu bodaoh memang bodoh.never use ure lame brain n u cn go freaking suck cocks 4 leaving friend.wth is worng wit guys now adays??AGAIN GUYS!! omg.had enuf eh..waluweii.. if u kenal tt girl for more than 3 yrs, still dun leave ure friend bro but do care uh pantat,,hais....i think if were in sm situation, i wld leave my friend if i am in a relationship with this girl for say abt 3 yrs or so en i get to know this girl just abt say 8 mths(u were s close with him n whtsoever=mcm bf) en the gf suddenly shoot u saying bout the trust is not there nimore.n he wants me to leave him n his gf alone.

i would first bust tt girl's ass en make her eat her own shit en i allow to have wht the guy wishes for to last his relationship n warn him to nt regret coz if he does,i will still be there with an open arms. :) coz cnfm if the gf is gg off to sm new sch, she wld be an pussy itch to go for boys hopping just like old sch.ok..dumb ok ppl dumb. i cn prove to you t i am miss independent because i am always is miss independent for my own assets and smtimes i just wanna manje. but tt does not make any diff ok. so FUCK OFF BITCHES,SLUTS,WHORE,PIMP,MOFO,ASSWHOLES,TWERP,CHEEBAI'S, LAME FREAK, DUMB SUCKERS,HOOLIGANS, AND WHT EVER SUITES YOU.

love you zyra,sara,nad,cicak,danny,arif..tt's all i cn think off nw ok.





n sara, in ur blog u said tt girls put the " im the property of XXX"..hmm..shldnt dat goes to you too? did u forgot tt u did it somehow too last time? hmm..idk wht to sae uh babe..like most of the things u did n sae were like u too is'nt it.i am the one whos observing so ima tell u this. haish..dun get it..

ps: pms!

Saturday, August 1, 2009 @ 8/01/2009 04:46:00 PM

friday was an all irritated an demo day for me.thx to my classmates who kept on asking whats wrong with me but i always deny not answing their qn coz i know im fine but nt exactly fine.it started all frm yesterday while walkking back hm abt frm sch.

ella is a type of girl who keeps her hurt-ness when somebody disturbs or did something wrong to her(even if it is a small or big matter).she does not mind on the situation itself but the hurt ness is just being absorbed by her soft heart and till one day something big strike er feeling to feel sad,she will burst out in tears any point of the moment. this point and before this point she does not like anyone to at all!! disturb her..(including not talking to her).she will definetly feel more pissed.

..continue the story..

at night i lay on my bed at abt 11.30 but could'nt sleep as there is this feeling that disturbs me from sleeping.problems i had in me,sadness i had,anger,misery,pissed,memories,unfullfill deeds...etc.i kept on mulling over what i missed or what i have done wrong and staring tearing.walauweii.i know tt tmr ma eyes bengkak but i cldnt help it seh.the day has come for me to shed tears pitifully in the dark room on my comfortable bed as i lay.

and i kinda got over it at abt 12.30 smth..but nt fully yet.

friday morning has yet to come and i tried to sleep. When the day arrived, was emo at sch all the way.then,sara came to ma class n we satted n chatted at the staircase. i burst out in tears again and told her how i feel. alota things didnt i mentioned to her as i duno wht it is but the major stuffs was all told. i felt partly better when she consoled my feelings and talked to me about the future has yet to be better. n such.. en i chilled and went to class back. hmmm....wa slucky to have a gf like dat..

Labels: love sara

unstoppable

Tuesday, July 28, 2009 @ 7/28/2009 05:13:00 PM

saturday: went out with sara n zyra 4 chilling coz gt no plans.

sara n i planned to chill first then zyra called me coz she tk jadi kua with her guy.sadsadsad(zyra n fadli) but niway i was happy coz i was able to meet my bestfriend(sec n rp)!!! gerek n make loads of fun n happiness.wwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

den at night watch the fireworks do its thing!!damn beautiful lah!! hmmm..wish the day never ends seh gila gila with zyra n sara. but one thing tt put me off was the mats n minahs all over the place like scums of the city/country.hahahaha!!(idk hw to spell)...n had loads of laugh too.haha!!

n den syafiqah met her idk what n me zyra n sara went irish pub to chill with taufiq,idham n rusydi!! miss sia the nccair peeps.hahahahahaha!!blablabla....den go hm at abt 11.30 lyk dat uh.

tuesday: met mont!! haha:)) eat swensens!!sssooo happy n felt like a goddess.haha..en went jalan jalan n blabla till mlm to chill at purple light.nice place..seriously nice place de..en went hm at abt 11 like tt uh.haha!! gerek ..

some pictures to upload at fb cn e found or here.haha!!

no plans!!

Friday, July 24, 2009 @ 7/24/2009 05:42:00 PM

wahh...firstly,in the morn,i did'nt bring ma rock climbing outfit as i tot zyra! is gg to Ignite with me.Skali no...sad sad sad...boohoo coz i replied late n she needs to go her cca. what soever eh..en the day went like fast when yesterday was slow as idk y also.hmm..en aft class gonna be a bore dome fer me as sara-keje mont-event nad-MENGHILANG!! haslinda-idk at all. dahlah..sad uh ella..boohoo.but niwaes.ARIFF WAS HERE TO CHEER ME UP AND IM IN HIS CLASS NW ok. good ariff.sayang dier alot alot. and you still owe me my 1 MILLION DRUMLETS OK!!hahaha:)
but niwae..keep me company.so happy but could nt show coz still bored liao.En just nw ariff gve me a hug..weeeeee.so touching..n so sweet.hahahha!! im single wad so beat it uh..boo!!EN ZHYRA I LIKE FUCKING MISS YOU LAH!! shit lah you..(miss u too much so instead of hitting you i hit you wth bad words)haha:)) smile k darling.wwweeee!!!

k en i duno wht to expct fer the rest of the day later.cnfm sien.just wna go out n hav sm fun but looks like nobody's free..sad ella.k uh i will result to porn.haha.. NOWAY..!!!!

n DANNY!! wht happen to you sayang??? walauweii.ur blog eh like u dying oni.write like dat.sedih tao ella ngok n bace..hmpkzzz..meet me soon k danny en we cn spill things out.just spill!!what best friends are for kan bebeh!!! wooho!! miss you ppl n have fun ok!!

n yah!! shafiqah ctc-ed me (my pri sch bestfriend)i tot i forgotted her but haha nope!!meetin soon but i nt sure uh.sat i oso dunno who to gooooo out with n sara gotta cnfm with me whether she wna date me or wht uh.waluweii..so sien eh..no gig!!

k uh gtg blog in soon!!

having fun and being disturbed!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 @ 7/22/2009 03:48:00 PM

pfftssss lah you !!waluweii.ok uh..(happy way)

went out with sara n faheem on tue,21 july 2009 ...hmmm,had tonnes n tonnes of fun and chill with em..but dey all disturb like there's no tomorrow seh.sedih but tkper.en i threten faheem.hahah..but dumb lor and verythings fine at the end of the day.haha..funny lah you ppl.

sara u rock my day ok!!! love you alot lah..

im like feeling depressed sia today..teringat kenangan lame seh..sad sad sad..

anyway,yesteday chilled at starbucks and see kids humping animalsat vivo city(the riding animals part uh outside starbucks)hahahaahaha...sara sara..haha:)

well,n kaki sakit coz wear high heels for formal yesterday n felt like a lady boss(seriously)!!!!
best seh!!haha..

n my appetite is damn growing.so puase- perot kau mati perot..makan makanmakan,ah amekkau nnt puase.shit,,,,,lah....wel,k uh i goto stop here,sara will be wating 4 me at the resource ctr lke now n im ssure ima be late.haha..en she like sad n angry agaiin.haha..welll,,,gtg!!

love,

ella love nad n misses her damn alot..haiis:)

sorry

Sunday, July 19, 2009 @ 7/19/2009 05:07:00 PM

sorry for wht i said to you
didnt really meant to
i know i hurt you
but i cant help to

coz the feeling inside me
just got too over
pretending to be me
a sorrow that brings forth tear

the anger is manageble
i know im in the wrong
but it is conceivable
for true just like a thong

i wrote this poem today
just for you
when i know i hurt you yesterday
could'nt be more true

so i hope the start we have
will hopefully not come to an end
the emotions that we share
friends forever till the end..

to whom it may concern....sorry :( :)

love,

ELLA -.- :) :( :p :D

tiring luh today..

Friday, July 17, 2009 @ 7/17/2009 11:51:00 PM

ok in sch do sci en at the third meeting i like gt no mood lah..n idk y!!!!

y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh y eh??????

hmm....en aft class,went to meet sara,nad n cicak at esp.chill there till 5.45 ard there en i go rock climbing.and tot gt training coz semangat alrd.en like wlauweii.patah harapan.but nehmind worth the go coz gt PT!!! love pt.best..haha..n en watch seniors do speed climb n kekek kekek seh..haha..funy lah dey all.basket also uh. when ppl want to get down frm the rock wall,seniors basket n just let go the rope like dat n the climber who climbed alll ccame down with a "breathtaking" experience.haha.funny. besides tt, i helped in forming the rock wall to fix new rocks so tt it is off a diff route and new experience,tougher and better.haha.challenge is wht i like. and not many juniors went so like,me,sukashi,syafiqah,syukri,amir,audi,kenneth the juniors tt went to climb haha..but fun..

en want to go home coz nk mkn but sadly im typing wth an empty stomach..

and sadly still gotta wakey early to go to bishan for CE activity thingy..haha:)

well,im sure im gona have loads of fun ler..

and btw,zyra: rprc start alrd tao.so i might not go sp to climb.but if u wnt en i cn go there uh.haha..

en tt time i gt tag danny and he miss me and love me too.awwwww.so sweet. miss u alot luh dan..haha..wait!! n u still owe me a story bout u n ur ex de.. ok share uh..

and the rest of the night ima just blog hop and pet society!!! yipee!!!

gdnight!!

ooowwwweeee..

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 @ 7/15/2009 11:07:00 AM

helllo!!! i feel damn happy n enthu yesterday after a stressful day of enterprise.
we surprise sara with a birthday cake ment to celebrate on her bdae but bz bz bz.
en,yesterday wad the rightful day to celebrate. and fun liao.she was all so happy and elated and excited!!alot alot alot uh.abt to cry ader uh.so touching seh n im just too happy also.
den wht saddened me is tt mont demam giler seh.walauweii,if i i die siall.haha.but cian uh him.well,tkcr ok:) n i dun want to disturb him coz he headache headache.hmmmm....

en go home just cant sleep yet..n he shld know why uh -.- en suddenly,luqman called,we chatted for like abt 40 mins or so abt he n his pompan kenalkenal.hahahahaha.damn joke uh him.funny sia.but en he wana go buy food en i put down to sleep coz sleepy alrd lah..sorry i did'nt pick ur call up aft u bought ure food.nantok uh,.haah..well,he shld be alright now as he has some other ppl to share his thoughts and love with.woohoo!!!

anyway,still worried abt mont's health..pity him.i also dun wan get sick de.hehe..


den while i was sleeping,smth beautiful happenened to me!!!!

mummy put nicci back with me and when i woke up,i was happy hehe.coz nicci beside me mah. :)

so now how?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 @ 7/14/2009 02:08:00 PM

ok certain measures to be taken when ure sick.
i dressed up nicely just to mit u.en u -.- sick.
en waste my time like dress up kan.next time if u say its candle light dinner or date en i will dress uh..or else malas de!!

haha..nw i feel like a dork seh.hah but nehmind lor.


next up,things to complain.sad uh in class.like team cn buang,me? haiis susa lah waanaa work with org yg i think is susa nk co operate.like haiis.scared it will affect my grades lor. -.-
niway,dun care lah as long as i am orite with my friends and acceptable grades cn uh.haha

after sch gona have lotsa fun with my sayang sara!!!haha n the fun randomers..haha

just saddened..

@ 7/14/2009 02:04:00 PM

hmm.should i say ure attached or wht eh??


coz in ure hotmail,u put 25 may 2009 (under anniversary) so,if ure not attached den there shld be no anniversary date uh. -.- den wad eh?

correct me if im wrong ok. and dun 4get to tag ma board ok..

to: u know who im referring to.

14 july 2009

@ 7/14/2009 09:21:00 AM

okey.

went sch as pernormal on this day and happen to have a bigggg appetite!! woohoo..

en aft UT enterprise, went to chill with cicak,nad,sara,khai...

n i brought her

ey ey ey..hah!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009 @ 7/11/2009 10:07:00 PM

urm.ok where i shall start..

ok,shall start on the 10th july 2009(fri).
went to SP to RC there with my bestfriend zyra!!!!!!!! damn miss her sooo damn much lah ok.haha.niwae.meet her friend suhaila..nice girl..en RC till 9pm ard there.zyra kelakar luh u RC but cn be better.Su plak,malu malu...haha.ella dun rock tht wae.Ella tk malu nye org ok.so cn be open 24/8,haha..urm,en go hm with didiyan effendi n his cute friend.haha.diam eh no chance.boo uh.dier mude lah dude.i also nt interested but cute jer uh.aha.. -.- n finally!!! i bough the MINI METLS ice cream!!so happy seh.n go hm.

now,11th july 2009(sat)
ok.wakey up,do housewok en planned the dae to go shoppin with mum coz cn buy lotsa things.en mum sae cannot..wanan go ma aunt house coz she just shifted house at THE QUARTZ at sengkang beside the fire station.gerek.n before tt tot of gg to gig at SAM coz MONT performing. the house like resort seh..woohoo..condo kate kan..well,aniwae,while in the vehicle drivg to ma aunts house,my dad gt coz cant find the house.en i was like wtf.ur in the wrong sia never prepare to check the direction.en wana salakan ma mum n me n ma kak for nt checking the direction.like im nt the one driving de... -.- en i called MONT ask fer direction coz he work at sengkang fire stn wad,en ma dad cn find the directionalrd.thx to him.haha
stoopid uh.n wen we reach, in the parking oso gt problem.walauweii daddy!!!!!!!!! stop uh ur attitude.irritating sia..mumy cn die soon siall. ..en abt 8 smth we go hm.
en at hm talked with mont(happpyyyyy n ssssaaaddd.haha) anywae, en on lappy en tot of signing up for the Dinner in the dark.texed nad n thigs go misunderstooded-dooded btw me n her.en cry jap.coz sad giler.lover her beh much seh.best bestie seh she!!! n now ok alrd..

9 th july 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009 @ 7/10/2009 02:19:00 PM

ok.went to serangoon mac with zyra n chill there till 9+...
miss her sia..n we chatted and chatted about my life,her life,her problems,my problems,her dislikes,my dislikes,my likes,her likes....n more..haha.. ate double cheese burger and ice lemon tea and ice cream at the mac..

besides that,we took a whole lot of pictures(cam-whoring) and LOL like nobody's business..but all worth the chill uh..
en talk bout luqman..walauweii.tros bingit jap but nehmind..niwae,had alota fun and gonna meet her today again at singapore poly for rock climbing at 6+...

today i ate alot in sch:
- 3 chocolate
-kuey teow goreng
-nasi lemak with chicken and fish cake
-mixed fruits
-prawn cracker
-double cheeseburger with fries and small ice lemon tea.
-tom yum soup with fish.

nice right?? chocolate is the best..cant live without chocolate a day!!haha:)

and i need to get alota stuffs seh... i want chain, new bottom, sheos, sandal, MAC, nail polish, bags, bangles, hairstyle..dats all for now think uh..

happy birthday!!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009 @ 7/09/2009 11:04:00 AM

sara ;goes by the name serenade, turned 18 today!!!yipee....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING!!!haha..nt gona celebrate today.she bz.fri sam bz.next wk c hw..haha.cheyy cn go party party eh..n we must call her nenek frm nw on.she tua alrd.haha..n iim oni 12 yrs old.hehe...hmm.wht to get her i also dunno.ouhk i know alrd..*idea bulb*-ting..haha
----------------------------------------------------------------

random stuffs: ways to say samantha aka sammie name.hehe.
-sammie-ammie-bammie-cammie-dammie-eammie-fammie-gammie-hammie-iammie-jammie-kammie-lammie-mammie-nammie-ommie-pammie-qammie-rammie-tammie-uammie-vammie-wammie-xammie-yammie-zammie..

hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

after school chillin with ma friend!!!miss em so much ... at cafe esplanade.till ard 5+ en go to serangoon macdonald and chill with zyra!!!miss her damn alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot.haha..ok..nth else.n tryin have fun in class.coz sammie in ma grp.yipee!! n miss mont ok..got it mont!!??got it????haha..ok lah..update soon.

den now friends gather at ma table and tell stoopid racist and non racist jokes.damn daumb and freaking funny siaollll.hahaha

enterprise???

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 @ 7/07/2009 02:15:00 PM

waluweiii!!!

enterprise is suppose to be fun like the module nt the faci but like wtf.
the problem is we have not enuf time for preparation of presentation, worksheet, discussion.
another problem is faci talk talk alot.like go through alot alot.it is good uh but see timing uh.n smore gt h1n1 stoopid thingy gg on in our school,so everything is like back to secondary school back uh.like wtfish kan??!!

freaking pissed n kancong siall. everything rush.every enterprise module rush rush rush..tat's y many pppl dun wan cm.like never realise frm ur mistake..en wad...walauweiii.cb..

anywaes,,forget bout enterprise. great tem cn alrd.

becky ask to write this: she is hot and rocks!! haha.

*sob sob sob*

Thursday, July 2, 2009 @ 7/02/2009 11:46:00 PM

ok i don't know why but i felt like i've definetly hurt someone.
walauweii..sad eh..n im sure tt person willl be feelin double seh..
well, it all started at the gig.. feelings and tensions arose ..chemistry build up blablabla.... en suddenly i dun feel its right coz first thing, a guy who focus more on his career is a "i like" type kinda guy but i think i sent out the wrong message. i did'nt meant to but what i said did hurt . shit lah ella why cant u get things rigth?
n yes u have studied communication on pause think respond just now and u cant seem to use it to your life situation? wth!!!??
anywae,en i told whatever i thought (personal thoughts) to tht person en i know uh he upsetted-tatted..n i felt guilty suddenly..
like y cant i get it right.
i like him.he like me.but i do not want a relationship.en i felt hurt even more hurt-er-erd when he sae what i told him which i meant differently but he sees it differently.en i duno hw to prove maself de. en i suddenly stationary like dat.mcm dumb and retarded.sedih seh...
like u like this person n he .......papelah...saddening la.n im feelin sad n tearing ..but gona be cheerful coz tmr sch de..so yipeeeeee*with tears in eyes*

well,wht cn i sae ,as the saying goes" whatever you dun like for sure will come back to you"
n it is cmin back.


sobsob** -.-!!

back to sch yet?

@ 7/02/2009 01:30:00 PM

hah!! stoooopid thingy ystd..
tot able to go sch alrd suddenly cannot liao fri en cn go sch..stoopid kan..hah.
like i just wana get over this e-earning stuffs which is damn lagging uh cn..
miss friends and atmosphere of RP
N MISS THE FOOD!!! THERE...haha
wana rock climbing again n swim again..haiis...

these are the possibilities that H1N1 cn do..
n the next thing is might as well no nid go sch sia on fri(3/july)...make it this week a hols week uh..
like one dae oni cm sch en blablabla..might as well cm sch on next mon oni seh..booo lahh.
who sia ...h1n1... pfftsssss.

n when is that i cn meet up with mont?

ouh ouh yah..zyra n dan? hmmm....h1n1....

its just another ordinary post

@ 7/02/2009 01:12:00 PM

woohoo...
ok when the public ever do a campaign on we children should be given a chance to speak. what were you thinking of at that moment when the campaign was brought up?

honestly,to me i was like hell yeah!! like dats ever gonna happen..well,it did happen but the percentage of us getting heard is like 10%...
hmmm...when will we ever get our justice? ouh ouh!! i know,when we are adults and when our parents are too old to even move a muscle.whoaa.tt will take centuries.

ok..here's the thing, my dad always denied my thoughts and opinions even though my elder sister came up with a great idea to help with the business.but everything we helped and shared is like = to daddy's solution=his opinions only..

so in this case, its meeting= daddy's solution and same opinions again..
what did u learn at the end of the day? daddy's solution again..again..again..again...WTFISH la..

en den i lazy alrd wana contibute coz wtv i sae goes down th floor and to nowhere i guess. BOO!!!

last day..

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 @ 6/30/2009 03:25:00 PM

ok..today is the last day of june!!

and one more day to survive in the E-LEARNING plan!! woohooo!!!
just cant wait for thurs. so cn go sch back n c all ma friends.
YEAH WE ALL KNOW,E-LEARNING SUCKS BIG TIME! haha:)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
datz all:)

pics..

Monday, June 29, 2009 @ 6/29/2009 12:41:00 PM

Friendship

@ 6/29/2009 12:21:00 PM

love ma friends,i do not see what friends they are.just accept them for who they are.and cherish em whenever u cn,wait cannot meet den difficult alrd right???

no limits to expectancy in friendship.

if you ask me to chose boyfriend over friendship: i'll definetly say friends.as they were with me for long,longer than you,longer than any guy i know and i would not want to risk myself to fall in a trap.

Everyone should havea friend like you
You are so much fun to be with
And you are such a good person
You crack me up with laughter
And touch my heart with your kindness
You have a wonderful ability
To know when to offer advice
And when to sit in quiet support
Time after time
You've come to my rescue
And brightend so many
Of my routine days
And time after time
I've realized how fortunateI am that my life includes you
I really do believe that
Everybody should have a friend like you
But so far it looks like
You are one of a kind!
goes to the ones whom i akways hang out with..a total mix of randomness,coolness.....n morehaha..

A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more.

random quotes that i feel like stating down abt friendship.

woohoo..i want sch to reopen fast!!want to chill alrd wit ma friends.

shout out's..

@ 6/29/2009 11:39:00 AM

just a normal update but slighty different as alota things i wana sae here.

miss people:
nad,serenade,cicak,is,khai,sam,ariff,whole lot of W45J!!, mont and his friends,zyra,danny,annisa,sara,kalil,luqman,lukman,adrian,bryan wong,azahar,manymore which i did'nt mention but know me:i miss you ppl lah ok..

miss things:
rock climbing,swimming,chilling wit friends at cafe,taking quizzes on fb,playing guitar geek,pet society,SHOPPING!!!, making fun with anyone,watching movies,playing with nici,going to gigs,going to mont studio,fried mars bars,hanging out with luqman,gossiping with sara n nad,watching horror movies,LERK THAI!!!!,ICE CREAM,going to build a bear workshop,dressing up,my dresses,hanging out with ariff at his class,MISSING THE N2D2 VIRUS!!!!hehe,going to town and make funny funny,scolding ppl,eating strawberry,chilling at the beach,talking on the phone,disturbing serenade,fooling someone,cam-whoring!!!...more to come but this is all that i can think of now.

randomerssss:
i do not like smokers for sure la..hate the smell and yuck.uh!!smoking reminds me of the juara rock something that was held at tampines cc on sun.ma siblings and i went there to catch a glimpse of it and alota ppl.not enuf seats.den ppl all stand bhd me when i was seating down n keep on hitting ma hair.irritating uh.den smell of after smoke smell.fucking bluek uh...walauweii these ppl.ok im done. ..scandal is dzul.hahaha:)funny lah dat guy.n still wondering why he chose me to be his scandal??hmmm...hate maths..still wonder if nad still believes spongebob lives under rp?haha.wanting to meet zyra n dan again take more pics n dahdahh...wonder if MONT BLE PINJAMKAN ELLA CAMERA.love taking pics...more to come suddenly.wonder what its like to be a guy...

-.-

bra's anybody??

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 @ 6/10/2009 11:57:00 PM

haha..this is damn silly i think is really stoopid.
k here it goes.i noe how revealing some ppl might want to show their body off but come on lah will only make you look like a freaking slut ok.. some more melayu doingss..

n i know by the way you look you maybe in ure mid 20's tapi tk perlu lah show bra when using a singlet which is low cutting.
might as well use a tube or wad uh to cover it.or tk pyh use that singlet tros kan...
walauweiii.i know lah some ppl might have diff perception but c'mon lah bitch this is hell singapore..what do you in the freaking world wana attract?matreps???
damn ass siall.well,not to brag abt it more coz its not me nor ma friends so like what do i care.

lastly,if wana use sexyly,,,,,make sure hide those undergarments ok missy..its ugly lah like seriously damn shit ugly lah ok..pftsss..minah's nowadays.

...

Labels: just being random uh.

emotion-less.

Sunday, June 7, 2009 @ 6/07/2009 09:00:00 PM

ok here it goes.the title tells everything i guess..
i did not feel like i belonged to someone..i liked him,he liked me..we both had crushes on each other and rock climbers..blablabla..and then as i am tryin to make a home fer him in heart i cant.

seriously..i cant.im sorry aidil.i tried everything i could do.but i could'nt.like you too.you tried but i could'nt feel comfortable. i miss luqman hakim bin mohani.and seriously damn shit.aint no kidding dude!! idk why but how do you expect me to get over it just bcos im with you? after a close to 2years relationship where we mostly spent time with each other like nobody's business and here we are separated.i cant forget him and neither cn u 4get ure ex's dude.we have memories that cannot be deleted.we are human.

and now ma feelings..thoughts..everything that i once all put to luqman hakim bin mohani is now gone.i fell so unusual.
if i am single den i would'nt give a fuck lah abt him coz ma friends are here and there fer me like its different when girls who support you and its different when guys supports you.that's how i feel...

+ missing him is deadly to the other party who starts to loves you damnnn deeeeeep..i crashed him man.fucking shit dude..this is shit.

idk what am thinking right now coz i cant seem to think abt anything else except fer luqman.serious.im being honest but im scared to tell.i hate to be the one who is the bad ass in the house seh..how am i suppose to hide when ma feelings shows?

this is being emotion-less..less of emotions.

i tried to be joyful and ferget ma past when i just got with you.yes! i am excited when i got with you but i realised that i cant. coz its like the song "thinking of you" by katy perry..
yeah..thats partly how i felt.
its like you know,i can blog alot abt this every second and ma blog is gonna be like a boring one as its abt guys and relationships.damn..im no love guru neither a love cupid..

i know ure sadded.but i cant fake it nimore seh.

back again..woohoo.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 @ 6/02/2009 09:34:00 PM

back coz now i gt time to add in new posts. and i was sarcatic-ted by someone who leaves his or her name as taik and selet.hah..stoopid.hah!! but nvm thks fer reminding though..i have a lot to write as i havent updated since awhile..

what has been gg onwith me?

bz with rock climbing
mon and fri..till night..

synergy
tue or wed.but nvr end late..

sat and sun rewang rewang rewang...
no comments on tht..

school
everyday also go hm late lor..hah:)

but life is fine with me fer now..
make more friends and cuci0ing mate every weekin rock climbing!!woohoo!!gerek..haha:)ass..


past..

conflict with ma close buddy in rp.
thot she angry at me and she thought i angry at her till today we had a sharing session again(as in get together time) + bdk bdk rock climbing laen..den lepak at cafe till 7+ coz nantok n nk berak.haha:)
den i felt sooooooooooooooo happy as me n ma friend are close once again..misshhh ya'lllllllll!!!!!ok:)

den had first aid course frm 1,2,4 june 2009.happy happy.alota grose stories..shitty disgusting la cn..hahaasss.

i just wana change.be somebody different then ma past.i do not want ma past to hinder me from gg on with ma life seh..

den sam gt rhoma hp no and she was on cloud 9 myb ten or more.haha:)gd fer you lah bebeh..den nad,.......cannot tell booo!haha:) den sara as per norm but i see smth diff(me and nad see ok!!!)hah!!we got ya now ok sara..haha

den i knew smone liked ma crush and gt sad but who cares coz its only a crush..

hah..pfftss:)
miss Zyra Dan Saranadiyah Nad Sam Khai Cicak Aidil Sammie Mel Ting2 Arti Dzul Zul Zhaoyang Kingston Jemie Zee Hidayat Dil and manny manny moooreee frm W45J YEAH!!woohoo:)

dats all fer now ok..:)
sayonara(sayur- nak arak!!)

yesterday was crazeeeeeeeee!!

Monday, May 18, 2009 @ 5/18/2009 03:00:00 PM

ok morn woke up at 5+ am and made my way to innova jc fer sports carnival thingy..tired but day wrapped up with a wild fun!!

den went to civic mall beside causeway point to buy lerk thai tom yum ball..sedap gilerrrr!!haha!!
den went up to highest level and we started chilling(sara,me,nad,sam,khai,cicak).den mendak giler mcm nk mampos ..
so we started to play true or dare as everyone was single..

blablabla..
funniest moments...cannot tell as what happens in there stays in there lorr.haha..it was total crazee sia!!! all m18 stuffs.haha..
ryan nt here..haha,,,,

den went to bishan fer the majlis thingy den go hm.haha..great sia.gerek!!

bdae bash???

Monday, May 11, 2009 @ 5/11/2009 10:41:00 AM

haha!!

today is hidayat's bdae!!!woohoo!!
had alota fun!! first break- celebrate his bdae.

classmates buy cake and BOXER!!
make him walk around the level with boxers that was bought 4 him.damn funny lah..en make him go in opposite class and say hello today is my birthday!!haha.

den bdae cake so the sedap lah!!! chocolate urmurm!!!

den extra bdae cake make him do some stuffs dat made his mouth dirty like eeeeewwww.haha
kene selet nan taik!!haha!

den hidayat has to wear his bdae boxers fer the whole day..haha nice guy!!

ok enuf bout hidayat.
now me!!! in school nw n blablabla..now saket prot lah..nk berak..hahahahahhahahaa!!
miss romeo and apiz lah. best ppl.woohooo!!duno howin the world he cn get ma blog..weird..hahahahaha!!
k loh.den started missing luqman hakim bin mohani.haiisss.

yesterday and today.

Thursday, May 7, 2009 @ 5/07/2009 09:34:00 PM

go to sch by mrt ystdae, this irritating china man smelly like one f***!! i felt like vomitting sia.
that's not enuf, he sleep till he drop on me. ASS RIGHT!! walauwei... da busok, tdo pn tk betul. had a smelly morning.

den school times was always as usual enthu and fun..!!! yeah..team 2 simply e best lor..

den go hm by train and smthing happen again.. train kept on stopping and stopping coz another train is coming towards the station.like walauweiiii.. have to wait.. like a while uh.. den the old man in front of me like do the hand sign (like a christian does) ... i oso like wt fish seh..scary but nth happened. den go home safely...

next day,go sch again by train n perfectly nth happens.. hah...den in sch perfectly fun and fine untilllllllll DISASTER STRIKES WHEN DOING PRESENTATION. our team i felt like being shooted bt the facilitator so terribly seh.. my slide is the worse. reason:i had to go 4 talk and it ended late so i told my friend to cover 4 me my slide.he did it and when it is time to present.it went wrong. i can tell and see that my classmates tryin to help me out but the facilitator kept on shooting honest and terrible answers. i was about to break out in front of my classmates but i held back by tears and just smiled. its very very hurtfull.. from every presenataion i did i never been shooted till like this..its ok ella im looking at the bright side.taking my mistakes..

go home also by train.but b4 gg hm i went to causeway pt with my enthu great buddies SARA NADIAH SAM AND ME!! haha:) sara wanted to get her laptop case den go find find dun haf..haiis.
sad sad sad sara:( aaaaawwwww.chill ok cnfm haf one lah..and hello bebeh:who said ure like a guy huh? and you havent tell me yet which PERVERT SAYS MA ASS IS CUTE? HOW CN AN ASS BE CUTE?GT NO FACE WAD. DAT PERSON MIGHT BE AN ASS.HAH!!! *laughs*

den go hm by train pack sia!!!!! i squeeze den gt these two guys. one fat and one thin(like timun and pumba)hahahahahaha!! despite their looks they are freaking funny lah seh....mDE ME LAUGH DEN SM HOW we talked and the guys is from phillipines and another singaporean(hafiz(or wad uh)).den i laughed n laughed. and the aunty and unclei front of me also laughed sia....funny gilerthis ppl.den he let me watch a puppet video..veh freaking funny too lah..
den i laughed in the train like wad sia..

den at hm felt sick blablabla.den suddenly see NICI(my teddy frm luqman) and start emotional.tmr is seriously nt gonna be a gd dae 4 me seh..haiis. i duno wad to do..its like we've been apart from 4th may 2009 aft a very long relationship. i do not know what to do if a guy starts acting all suspicious and treats you like not what he use to treat.

cry cry cry cry cry cry...

den now i wana end blog cozi wana sleep ok!!!sayonara!!

sad turn to happiness by w45j

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 @ 5/05/2009 09:29:00 PM

w45j simply is the greatest!
thx alot you guys.love you ppl alot seh.

had a great time today eventhough i felt upset bout sm things.heh..classmate and teammates put a biggy smileeee on ma faceeee.

plus!! my DOAL friends.haha:)

I DUN NEED YOUR ATTENTION OK MR.I HAD IT N I SAID IT.THERE IT GOES.
TOOK PHOTOS AND DID PPT WAS A GREAT FUN!! DEN AFT CLASSSSSSS SAT WITH FRIENDS AT CARE ESPLANADE AND CHILL AND TOOK MORE PHOTOS.HAHA:) DEN,WALK HOME TOGETHER...LAUGH N LAUGH N LAUGH ON THE WAY TO THE MRT STATION. N HAFEEZ!!!STOP IT CN N SQUEEZING MY SHOULDER MUSCLE!!SAKIT SIOUL...IM NT GUY!!FYI:IM NT A GUY(REMINDER)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAH!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

DEN go home do RJ and msn and zul lightened my day haha.too bad he sick!he misses the fun in the classroom n thx to my rock voice(i duno y) hafeez again likes to disturb muah.haha!!ass lah you eh but nehmind fun also cn lah.

check check check....

nth else to say just pure happiness and yahhh!! one more thing.danny tagged me at last!! sooooo happy..i know danny he was'nt gd enuf fer me.you tried to open up my eyes but i always want it shut. thanx alot danny fer standing up to me till now.
miss him alot.n i noe i sux ok. miss you and miss you more..heh...

to zyra:dey bebeh....on wed(5 may 2009)im free aft sch.
on thurs(6 may 2009) im bz bz bz aft sch.
on fri(7 may 2009) im veh veh veh bz bz bz bz!!ROCK CLIMBING BEBEH!! woohooo!!!

okokok!!tex me whenever you like ok i cn call you okor web sms you ok.so dun worry..

so now WHAT R YOU TRYING TO SHOW ME?!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009 @ 5/01/2009 10:49:00 PM

SO TELL ME ASSSHOLE!!HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU FUCKED OR ASKED THEIR NUMBER?SO MUCH FOR I CANNOT FOCUS ON ME!!! WHEN IN THE END YOU ARE ON TAGGED ASKING OTHER GIRLS FOR THEIR NUMBER AND MSN WHICH YOU DUNO!!THAT IS SO OLD SCH LA CN.KENTAL PER KAU AH LUQMAN.EH,IF YOU WANA DO THIS TO ME MIGHT AS WELL JUST 4GET BOUT US RIGHT DUMBASS!!!I DUN SEE ANY REASON FOR YOU TO BE OR STILL WANTING ME!!!!!!DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCHIT HURT NT?!!HUH LUQMAN HAKIM BIN MOHANI.I DUN HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY OK.I SHALL NOT CRY!!NEVER AGAIN CRY 4 YOU!!!NOW YOU BETRAYED ME N LIED TO ME AND THT IS REALLY TERRIBLE.I CANT EXPLAIN NIMORE.I JUST FEEL LIKE MAKI YOU OK NABE CB NYE JANTAN SIAL PEH PUKI.KANINA.EH,EKU BKN POMPAN NK MAEN EH SIAL.KLO KAU PIKI AKU MCM POMPAN SIAL MURAH LAEN...EH KAU YG MURAH MUSIBOT!!PUKI BNYK AH LUA SANE.DUN HAVE TO LIKE FUCKING STAY WITH ME AND I FOUND OUT ALL THESE BY MYSELF.EH JANTAN TKDE OTAK.KO PIKI AKU BODO PER SIAL??!!!KO PIKI AKU TKDE OTAKNYE POMPAN PER SIAL CHIBAI!!!AKUADE PALE OTAK AH SIAL.PEH PUKI!!TK KLAKA LAH SIOL BUAT AKU MCM GINI.EH.KAU TKDE HATI PEROT PER SIAL.ANAK APE SIA KAU.PATOT AH MAK BPK KAU BENCI PERANGAI KAU SIAL.BODOH KAPER KAU???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PI MAMPOS AH JANTAN MCM KAU!!!MMG TKDE GUNE AH SIA..

CRAZINESS IN CLASS!!

Thursday, April 30, 2009 @ 4/30/2009 10:18:00 AM

CRAZY PEOPLE OF W45J!!!

day ended with a SHIT

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 @ 4/29/2009 09:35:00 PM

how could a day turn better huh without someone spoiling itttt...

the reason is:
aft school went to meet lqman hakim bin mohani, den tot it would be wonderful but more is yet to come.we watched 17 again on my lappy undr a blk den smthing just caught up in me n i felt sad n dissapointed when his friend came and i was hungry so as he.he did'nt have any money n i said "useless" to him.i was alrd pissed.den i expected more when we meet but my expectations turn into a downfall of all sad emotions.blablabla.den go street soccer court n sat there.lucky he nvr play soccer or else i lagi bingit seh..den i told him i was unhappy den blablabla.we did'nt get to fight coz his friends are all there.i had to speak my problems softly so as not to allow his friends to hear them..blablabla..sad sad sad lah..but wad to do..

den missed today lepakking with friends. i think nad did'nt come to sch as i did'nt see her online so as ariff tooooooooooooo...haha:)den checked ma blog,sara nadiah tagged me n i felt soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!
haha:)))

den during dinner.(had a fast one).sempat talked to my mom n dad.miss them alrd eventou i see them everyday at home but the bonding id not like what it used to be b4 i satrted school.haiis...chit chatted awile n rush up to do my rj,evaluation,quiz n blog n other stuffs..haha:)

well,in school,had a great time.presentation of team one is really interesting and exciting coz it's bout GHOSTS..hahahahahahha:))had a great time listening to them n my team member,zul..sempat klua pi makan during presentation..POWER OR WHAT..hahahahaha:))next time i wana join you la ok..haha:) at school during our second break,went a talk to get CE points with zul,becky,kingston n me!!saw hafiz(dunno where i knl him oso)haha:)..n yeah..that's the best part of school today..but morning was ablurr coz brain digestion was'nt good lah..canno think so i think faci pon mcm fed up but he kept smiling lorr.haha:))

that's all lah..tired eyy type...not enuf in sch now at hm oso wana type..haiisss:)
aft this i wana sleep n talk to my frien..gd night ok!!

at night n lonely.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 4/28/2009 08:34:00 PM

felt sad n i duno y. suppose to meet luqman hakim but i went to IG fair.
IG-KINDA LIKE A CCA THINGY.

joined- sport business, synergy, rock climbing.

coz of ma heart mur mur, nt sure cn get in synergy nt ah..haiis...
now just listning to country songs.felt like im missing smthing seh..miss luqman, danial, hazirah, hana, sara nadiah, annisa...

haiis:( gt an eye candy in sch but nt interested..haha:)

like the first week of sch gt ppl wana knl knl..funny lah these ppl..wait cn.haha:)
and this msn virus thingy funny sia.porno sites..blablabla..

just remembered one thing::nadiah n her potato,papaya.etc porn..hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahaaha!!
funi sia babe!!

k,now i really gt nth to sae..k lah,wana go eat n gtg!!
update when i'm free ok..

the comeback

@ 4/28/2009 08:21:00 AM

hello ..it's been long since i updated ma blog..
well,school is great n friends are even greater..but miss the old times..every morning,as usual,wakey,off alarm clock,rest awile,bathe n stuffs..go sch,msn,problem,solution,hang out at cafe till 5 or 6+ den go home n sleep n eat. it's a tiring day for me always..well,gotta get used to this life here..anywae gonna start lesson soon.
ystd was a bore!!!! enterprise...haiiis...boringgg...
today is communication!!fun funfun coz faci gerek..haha:)well,gtg ah..

zyra:i'll update you soon..had great fun talking to you over the phone n wishing to meet up ok.just tell me when except on wkends.

saratini:see you in school lorrr.

danial:i duno y but i know i'm missing smthing......sorry again is all i cn sae..

sara nadiah:looking forward to ure performance ah..n free drinks ok!!!

ella:i JUST CANT STAND SM PPL IN MA CLASS.IRRITATING PIECE OF BUZZO..

RP ORIENTATION

Friday, April 17, 2009 @ 4/17/2009 11:21:00 PM

hello again!!it's been long since i've updated ma blog.n now zyra is complaining..stop ok nek ...haha..
well.first dae was excellence.made alota new friends.played games,ice breaker n other much fun stuffs.DAMN SHIOK AH!! and my course(diploma in outdoor and adventure)-SHL is the most crazy and hectic n kecoh n all words that describes us as loud n outgg n supportive..well,none of ma sec sch friends in ma course but zhe hong is in SHL.saratini in CCC..that's wad i oni noe arh..had a great friggin time!!

den second dae was even better times 100!!!! we mixed ard like we already noe each other for a yr..hahaha::))best..den as usual..me n ma new friends were the most kecoh girls..n hyder!!a friggin LOUD HAILER IN MA COURSE LAH!!glad to have him..haha:)we still continued playing games n i participated in a dance performance for SHL!!!!!!!!!!!!! mostly ppl in ma group volunteered to dance!!den in the afternoon,gt principle's cup.tug of war-SHL WON!!!!!wwwwwwwooooooohhhhhooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!happy sia..shout n scream like nobody's business lah..haha:)dun give a shit..loud ppl are in ma course so CAN'T HELP IT...hha:))))))den at 5+ went to a classrm to learn n practice dance moves(dance competition tmr) till 7 den had to go to level one to prctice coz classrm wana lock..till 8+..learned the whole dance step.n had a really enjoyful time!!!!well,too bad that hana could'nt joined coz she had to go off early..

den thrid dae which is today is the best n most most most most most most most wonderfull dae n terrific n supendous!!!!brought laptop to sch den go to respective classes..mine is w45J(w4-west building, 5- level, J-class name..)den aft dat more dance practice,n performing time!!!!!
haha.was nervous at first but gained confidence and dance our hearts out like nobody's business..shake here.shake there!!den we the results were announced and we gt the runner up like 4 3 yrs alrd..haha.but i think its alright as long as this particular school in rp does nt get a place in the champion ..haha..den go dinner.den JAM AND HOP SESSION.locals perform,live n loaded ppl came and perform..hip hopper's came and perform..blablabla.den the best part!!
DJ.CAREFREE CAME AND ITS PARTY DANCE TIME.girls in ma course gt all wild and started dancing like an hr or so..duno lah.den,dance n dance n dance-zyra:its really great fun.to me better den the tp's concert..coz its intense but lighting gotta admit that TP IS BETTER.den you know lah zyra the enjoyment we had just like tp.ingt tak?!!!gerek kan..but gotta admit that rp dance is really really intense and crazy!!ppl were actually drinking alcohol in the front row..I WAS THERE BUT I DUNO..haha:)dance till da penat giler den go get our bags.den ma friend sae ma face pucat n seriously dat time i felt like fainting when i stop moving to the beats ah..hahaah..
den sat down after we took our bags n chat awile but sm of ma friends still wana have their party time..but i cld'nt continue coz i'm so tired and lethargic n mcm nk pengsan..serious...den went home!!!!!at eleven ++ ah just reach hm..hahaha:)gerek..



REPUBLIC POLY SHIOKKK!!HAHA:)especially , DOAL ppl!!!

Labels: doal

what?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 @ 4/14/2009 08:55:00 PM

ok.what with those pics?OMG !!shld i be irritated or freaked out or pissed?myb JEALOUS?
haiiisss..duno y im feeling this way..pic of ure friends at HAJI LANE with beer bottles n a power face?haiisss...that REALLY DISSAPOINTS me!! n leats link it to trusting each otherr?how is that suppose to work?

ATTITUDE MR!! ATTITUDE!!
i duno hw to sae this but im so mad rite nw i cld just BITE URE HEAD OFF!!!!
grusome ....

anywaes i shall STOP BRAGGIN' BUT MR.ATTITUDE,and start blogging abt,.....zyra..
haha:)
read ure blog..kecoh kaper girl..the wae u line ure sentences sounded you had alota fun..hmmmzzzz.i wonder how's mine gonna be seh..haiyooo:))

weellllllllll,tmr orientation n am gonna meet new ppl n have a hell of a rocking time at rp(hopefully),,,heard that there will be lyk challenging of schools in rp.blablabla..hahahahaha:))
LOL!!

anywaes..did'nt do much..spent apparently the dae painting nails..my elder sis n mine..haha.bored neh..

well,,gonna end here.n ma uncle is beside me cursing n cursing coz he cant get his laptop right..haiissss...irritating n annoying..
haha:)

Labels: irritated.

more pics of the kittens bhd air con box

@ 4/14/2009 06:57:00 PM

more cute pics of kittens..

blablabla

Monday, April 13, 2009 @ 4/13/2009 03:22:00 PM

yeayea..doing nth nw apparently the whole dae i guess.damn bored seh..haiiiisss.but i tired n fever~ish..so what do i care of going out..
aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!MISS FRIED MARS BAR N CALAMARI RINGS!!yumyumyum!!!
just feel like gg to plaza singapura to get it!!hmmm...but lazy lah.AND ALSO MACDONALD'S 6 PCS CHICKEN NUGGETS N THE SNACK. so delicious..mmmmmmmmm....yummy!!!*slurp*

OK DANIAL.WATZ wit you n deleting ure blog?haha..chill ah dude:) ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

today zyra's orientation n sara's day camp..haha..

and i just found out smthing.. UNDER MA RM WINDOW BEHIND THE AIRCON FILTER THINGY..A MOTHER CAT N HER 4 NEWBORN KITTENS..SSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO CCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE!!!!aaaawwww..so cute seh!!

wel.i took sm pictures of them.n walahh.here are they..cute right?!!!


hheheheheheh:))






all kittens are sucking up to their mother's milk.sssooo cute n sweet..nice kan?:))
im sure luqman n sara love this..




:))

SICK~!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 4/12/2009 09:45:00 PM

HOLLA HOLLA!!

today is sunday n im blogging at night.
had a tired day since sat n sun..haiis:)but dun minnd..
now feeling a lil sick..gt sore throat.alil fever~ish..heeeee:)n headache..
think i overwork.n i duno y im typing so freaking fast..
haahhahahahahhahahhhahahahhahaahahahaahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahah!!!
but ma geadache lyk WTF AH!!haiis:)
tmr zyra's orientation till tue..n dan's orientation on tue n mine on wed thurs n fri......
like lazy wana go..haiis:)but nvmm..hope to meet new nice ppl there..
actually i lazy wana blog but smm ppl ask me to uodate..haiis.TK PHM PER ORG NGA SAKIT!!hahhahahahahahahha:)smile ok zyra..haha!!den anisa had her blog private..haiis annisa annisa...haha..den invite me n zyra lah ok kambing..heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:))
miss you ppl so much..SAT!!i can't wait!!heeeee.hope you ppl oso cant wait ok..ass:)k lah there i've updated ma blog ok zyra!!!!heeeee...read smpai mate kau tekluar..haha:))

Labels: fever~ish, headache, sore throat..

LaLaLand..

Thursday, April 9, 2009 @ 4/09/2009 12:39:00 PM

woke up at eleven this morning.sat down on ma bed n thought of wad i dreamt.

WEIRD!! most of the ppl i missed was in here.hmmm...duno y..BUT HERE IT GOES..


i was at changi beach in ma brown sun dress and a nice straw hat complete with a ribbon on top of ma head.
i was walking on the cyclist path when i suddenly bumbed into sara,zyra,danial n sm of other ppl..everybody was so elated n having a great time.
Den i said i'll cm back later coz i need to answer the call of nature.
When i walked towards the toilet,there was this shelter with seats..
and to ma surprise: I SAW LUQMAN HAKIM WIT A GIRL SITTING ON HIS LAP!! i duno who the girl is coz i only focused on him.

he did'nt saw me.but sm other ppl who was with him looked at me. But i did'nt approach him.i kept on walking to the toilet.

Den i woke up.felling all sad n ____________________________________....

*sigh*

Now im having this feeling abt him..all these bad feelings you know.haiiisss....
i felt like he had IT wit sm otha peeps.haiis...i duno y i still cant get over him..myb its nt time yet? .....

Labels: WEIRD

Wednesday, April 8, 2009 @ 4/08/2009 10:02:00 PM

miss him and him and him

*laughs:))*

miss her and her and her.

AND TO NT 4 GET: their CRAZINESS!!haha:))

hope to go out n get wild wit you guys especially you zyra,,

hha:))

Labels: super friends.

chill babes.stop the net fighting.

@ 4/08/2009 08:38:00 PM

ok this goes to whoever it might concern ok.
im nt intruding in ure wars but i think this shld be put to a rest.N I MEANT A REAL REST THAT IT WILL NT EVER RISE AGAIN.
haiis.both of u r ma friend but u noe u babes shld stop ok.well,50 50 win win situation cn?
if keep on fighting pn tk kan habis seh ...
im nt going on anyone's side ok.well, lyk wth kan kwn kwn gado over such copyright thingy.
but to ma point of view.the person who actually created up all these ideas on creating a blog,having all the layouts n small details shld be the one saying STOP COPYING ME!!
*laughs* CHILL OK YOU PPL.

if both of you guys still cannot stop it den might as well dun link to each other's blog.

to sara:hey!myb you shld filter what ure saying ok coz sm ppl cant take it n that's where the fighting begins..n to be honest to you sara..smtimes,ure word just pierce me but i dun care coz i noe ure just jokin.n have more patience.just an advice ok.that's wad friends are for kan..smile ok sara n dun take it to hard.still love ya. *smile* (just 4 ure own gd so u dun make ppl angry at you by the wae you talk or react)

Labels: for both you..

to:DAYYY!!

@ 4/08/2009 08:28:00 PM

AM BACK..LIKE EVERYDAY.HAHAHA!!

WELL.WOKE UP ARD ELEVEN+ DEN DO SM COOKING N HOUSE WORK N WENT OUT WITH MA FOREVER BEAUTIFUL MUMMY!!

kwakwakwa..den do sm shopping..spent on wax,jewellery n blablabla..

den cm home n do nth at all.*BORED* then..try out ma njewellery..tot abt ma ex..(felt like crying but i did'nt.)

THIS IS TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN OK:

HEY!im sorry abt wad i did towards you ok.ma actions n stuff.i noe we are just friends n you wanted to treat me like a close friend but i felt really uncomfortable. so i had to tell you b4 im afraid you wld get the wrong idea ok.ure a nice person but with you calling me these names made me feel even guilty coz i felt that i still love ma ex n that i stilll belonged to him even tou im nt.LOOK!I JUST CANT OVER HIM OK.
im still very vulnerable..haiis.i hope you really do 4 give me ok Naz.it's nt that i want to ignore you wad ah but ..i duno hw to sae it..well.its gd if we just be this wae you c..i noe i suck but cant help shutting up bout this.....SORRY AGAIN OK:)

Labels: shits n boredom+shopping.

It's a lil funny this feeling inside

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 @ 4/07/2009 11:26:00 PM

hello hello!

*SMILES*

got very happy todae.luqman hakim bin mohani called me at ard 1pm just to sae he still misses me.i was shocked but happy n was definetly speechless.

*haiiissss*

the real truth is i cant seem to go on without him so as heeeee is..
but no chances of me getting with him back larr.coz he wants to end n finish his stuff's...
haiis.gota wait longer...but each dae passes with a tear coz i stil misssssssssssssssssssssss him ssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooo mmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuucccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!



den ard 8?pm...he called me again n ssaaiiiddd he love me....

hahhhh...i was feeling so nice..
den i started to think bout us blablabla..
den go eat n nw im here.haha:)

ok,gtg,,,,,,wana msn.
hope luqman is online..

Labels: LoveyDoveyFeeling..

Monday, April 6, 2009 @ 4/06/2009 08:50:00 PM

*winks*i dun noe why..but this gt me excited.
ma guy or i shld sae ex went on msn.
when i saw him sign him:i was so happy.
but i actually act as tou im ok.
but i cld'nt fake it nimore..so yea.i had to spill ma feelings out.
haiis.hope he does'nt mine..
n more:when i checked his email profile,he still had ma pic on n the name was still the same..
i dun noe if thats really he gona keep it or smth arh but yea,,,,,,,

just cant get over itt.

Labels: happy.but still sad.

@ 4/06/2009 04:42:00 PM

its a miserable dae 4 me ystdae.what cld sm one predict and expect?
it's like you came home as per usual:feeling all tired n happy.
and then you checked your mail n go on msn as per usual.
and a mail that contains alot of hatred emotions comes in your wae.
opened it n next:found yourself crying!

well.it was a really roughy patch 4 us.
n he seemed he just cant continue being into a relaionship.

HELL YEAH!!that's 4 sure.

and next,the person who you'd always turn to is gone..
cant sae another word but live in silence(in terms of relationship wise.)

another you shld look up to is ure friends.except 4 sm irritating ones.


could'nt sleep till 3+ ard there coz thoughts just keep on rushing in even you tried to put a stop to it..hw terrible cld it be.

well,one thing 4 sure i learnt:KNOW THAT BEING A ALOT B4 AGREEING TO SPENT THE COMING YEARS WITH HIM.

OR ELSE JUST FACE THE CONSEQUENCES..

WELL..LIFE GOTA GO ON RITE..DEN OK.



ESPECIALLY MISS MA FRIENDS.

Labels: seize the truth recognise the real n deal with it

first entry

Saturday, April 4, 2009 @ 4/04/2009 02:57:00 AM

hello!

it's like ma first entry seh.

THE REASON FOR A BLOG: coz im nt heard.

well,what cn i sae n do..

got lotsa stuff to complain but now nt the time lah.veh sleepy tou..

will check inn here soon ok..

Labels: new

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The Name is ELLA.
& i am older than any vampire, with the age of 1917.
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